So now we're going to hear from one of the
stars of the film, Sharon J. Lettman-Hicks,
I got the initials in there as well. Um
I met Sharon in 2012 at Alama Hill
, which I encourage everyone to look up. It's
an amazing opportunity for African Americans, people of color
, L G B T Q. to come to
Washington D. C. And come to the hill
and meet and talk to some of the very people
that are responsible for a lot of the policies and
a lot of, a lot of the work that
affect our everyday lives. And it's also an opportunity
for um leaders to come together and kind of network
and talk about what's happening in trying to identify solutions
as well. Um and ever since I met Sharon
at that time, I've just been fascinated with Sharon
. Um and I'm also part of the emerging Leaders
Leaders program which is aimed at enhancing the capacity of
young leaders in the LGBT movement and they could have
had some wonderful experiences with that. So I am
going to reach here in Ohio. Um I'm sure
you all learned a lot about her in the movie
. But throughout her career, Sharon has brought vision
, innovation, entrepreneurial spirit, political savvy and strategic
thinking to every endeavour she has attempted. She has
the ability to bring talented young people together to form
cohesive leadership teams with organizations and build collaborative advocacy coalitions
among very diverse stakeholders. A nationally recognized leader,
Sharon thrives on challenges and seeks to develop and promote
leaders and others. In october 2000 and nine,
Sharon became the executive director and chief executive officer of
the National Black Justice Coalition or N. B.
J. C. A civil rights organization dedicated to
empowering black lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people
. Founded in 2003, M. B. J
. C. has provided leadership at the intersection of
national civil rights groups and LGBT organizations, advocating for
the unique challenges and needs of african americans. LGBT
community that are often relegated to the size N.
B J. C. Vision is a world where
all people are fully empowered to participate safely, openly
and honestly in family, faith and community, regardless
of race, gender identity or sexual orientation. In
concert with B. J. C. S mission
to eradicate racism and homophobia, our personal goals are
to make the black family the focal point of M
. B. J. C to tell compelling stories
about the black LGBT community and to see black LGBT
people understood, embraced and respected for their valuable contributions
to society. At the beginning of 2014, Sharon
was appointed by President Obama to serve as a commissioner
to the White House initiative on educational excellence for African
Americans. The presidential commission is tasked with strengthening the
nation by improving outcomes for african americans to ensure that
all african americans receive an education that prepares them for
college, productive careers and satisfying lives in this capacity
, sharing will advise the president and the Secretary of
Education or ways to advance federal programs that improve educational
opportunities for African americans, increased participation of the african
american community and federal agency programs and engage stakeholders in
the national dialogue on the mission. Sharon is the
only LGBT civil rights advocacy be appointed to the presidential
advisory five. So please put snaps in hands together
. Let's welcome Sharon for thank you, Monica.
Can everybody hear me? Okay, great. So
what did you think of the movie? Great,
great. Did you all enjoy your experience before we
digest the movie and especially if you have questions,
I'd love to dispel any myths or give you anything
in context or give you back stories. If your
desire, I want to kind of know who's in
the room. The hours late this is your library
. I think it looks more like a student union
. Um, you know, you all are jazz
, you took your time, your precious time to
come out here tonight and be a part of this
film and a part of a dialogue. So first
and foremost, thank you. Thank you for being
here. Um, I am so honored to have
been brought here by such amazing young ladies and um
, having the desire to have this conversation about the
intersectionality of LGBT equality, racial justice being on uh
, predominantly white institution and having so many amazing people
of color in this room and at the same time
, uh, grappling with so many other intersectionality that
are in this room. Uh, I want to
also spend a little time dissecting what it means to
be an ally. So how many people in here
believe or self identify as an ally to the LGBT
Equality movement? Okay, I appreciate that. You're
not sure. Um, no, I mean,
that's honest. That's honest. Uh, how many
people feel that they're an ally to the racial justice
movement in here? Interesting, interesting how many people
self identify as a member of the LGBTQ community.
Okay. How many people in here self identify as
a person of color? Okay. Some people not
sure. Like, I don't know what was going
on at night. I just got here. I'm
there with you. So let me challenge you,
especially those that self identified as some type of ally
for one of the demographic groups that I presented before
you, an ally is someone who recognizes they are
on a privilege side of a particular prejudice or oppression
that divides uh, that society creates. Let's be
clear that society creates the individual or as an ally
, then actively engages in the search and implementation of
strategies to dismantle that divide. Let's dissect that an
ally actively engages, actively engages in the search and
implementation of strategies of strategies to dismantle that ally.
So if you're sitting next to, I'm going to
play hypotheticals. Um, two white dudes sitting together
, one believe season ally to communities of color and
one of the white dudes does makes a racially charged
comment and or um, just says something ignorant and
inappropriate. The other white dude just sits there quietly
and believes he's an ally. How many beliefs is
an ally? Come on information. Okay, that's
fair law student over there. You don't know what
else he does for communities of color. So well
, let me challenge that definition of an ally is
actively engaged in the search is to implement their strategies
. So it's okay to actively do something in other
ways, but sit there and embrace someone's racially charged
comments. Oh no, I'm okay. No.
And that's fair because you know, he could do
that like uh done did I was in fear.
So I shot first when nobody was shooting back.
Um you can't, you can't use and I'm I'm
on a mission to dismantle this free concept of being
an ally because I rebuked the term ally. I
don't consider myself an ally to the LGBT Equality movement
as a black woman, as someone who um is
deeply connected with her culture, her walk her many
identities culturally an ally means nothing in the black community
. Absolutely nothing. It is something that has been
popularized on social media and media at large. It's
been given a context for in many aspects white guilt
. Um, in a racial context, we never
talked about allies. Um, really in a meaningful
way, we've talked about white guilt. We didn't
talk about allies. Um, and allies such a
loose term in black construct. We talked about,
we speak from family. We speak around dinner tables
as you saw in the movie. We speak from
community. So in my, excuse me in my
black world and and my black world and allies like
saying tide detergent. Just, you know, it
doesn't, it doesn't have any historical context as black
people that an ally has some real deep meaning.
Um, but what does have deep meeting in our
communities? Whether or not you're my brother and my
sister and you don't have to look like me.
What does have deep meeting? And I'm an afro
Latina. So even in my, in my uh
, central american roots, it's all about family.
My mom's best friend is not an ally. She's
Tia, she's anti is always in the family context
. You know, you never know who's really related
to somebody in the black community because everybody is your
cousin. So I want you understand where I'm coming
from in this concept of Ally. So when you
and as an activist For more than 20 years,
the concept of ally is deeply seeped in a transaction
is deeply seek, seek, especially around the polarization
of LGBT equality or I'm an Ally means don't call
me a homophobe. That's what that means. Don't
call me homophobic. I'm with you, but I'm
straight from state. How many people however you have
done that? You have to admit it I'm gonna
say. And I rebuke the term straight because then
you're implying in the english dictionary that my community is
crooked. So he's going to challenge that Abertis sick
. So I mean, so again, these social
constructs of I'm straight, I'm an ally. I
rebuke it. Nobody LGBT Equality movement. Nobody that
self identifies as L G B T. Q.
Owes anybody anything. They don't anybody thank you for
being my ally. They don't know. You thank
you for accepting me for who I am. No
, you get over it, you get over it
. They got here just like you did. And
the difference is we dare to speak our truth.
We dare to stand up and be our whole person
. So you work on you. So me as
a sister of the movement, I just walk around
every day as a mirror to help people understand how
to get over themselves. How that as you don't
realize, especially people of color. Don't believe we
have any privilege. We have tons of privilege.
If you go to this institution in your personal color
, you have a lot of privilege. So let's
break it down in just really honest terms. And
so when you even think if you're on scholarship,
if you are, you've got a pell grant,
you're privileged, okay. Because a whole bunch of
people wish they did. So when you even think
about all the different context of what privileges, whenever
you, whenever you use that privilege to hold someone
else down or to reduce their status or to make
them feel less than or to elevate yourself because you
know, I'm not against you, I'm just for
me, I'm pro me, um, but don't
lend a hand of defense or support or standing up
. You're really over overreaching in the total being ally
. And even more importantly, you should let someone
else tell you you're an ally. I think it's
so adorable when people like I'm an ally really who
determined that I'm just curious who gave you that badge
? Yeah. Who crowned you king or queen or
ally. So it's really a something that I'm trying
to see how it works on y'all that I'm really
trying to make people understand even when you feel like
I'm an ally, you're actually walking in some kind
of level of privilege you're sending and anybody catch pierce
morgan with Janet mock okay, do you know where
I'm going with this? Then actually this whole shtick
was born that night interview number two because I sat
there and Jenna is a personal friend and I'm ashamed
to say I watch piers morgan almost every night and
I was, and I think I do it just
to see what I don't want to be or you
know who I'm gonna be mad at this week,
but just keep just keeping it real. And I
was kind of like, first I got it,
my mother, oh my God, that pretty girl
. That's always just, oh my God, you
just saw her the other night on piers morgan.
I was like, who are you talking about?
And I'm going through the internet and my mom is
just over my shoulder, who knows nothing about the
internet, and I'm like, what are you doing
? And she's telling me all about the interview.
And I never saw the first interview, don't you
saw the second one? And as an objective viewer
, I went back and watched the first one,
I was like, how did we get here?
And I dissected it from a position of his privilege
on how he then used his bully pulpit to lash
out so aggressively as the victim that I just couldn't
get over it and I'm not a happy twitter,
but I tweeted my butt off that night and I
was just wanted to a fury because I was like
, did you just say I'm a champion, I'm
a supporter, how could you attack me? It's
like and who declared that for you? And then
all the champion that he was talking to a trans
woman was about his L. G. B,
his LG support and really his g support, you
know. So I was just, I was dumbfounded
with how not only miss jen during her but how
much energy he spent in his own personal character and
his own personhood of privilege that it just, it
, you know, it's bad enough. I didn't
like the word Ally. Now I'm going after the
word Ally, you know, because I was like
, wow, how many privileged checkboxes did you hit
when you made yourself a victimized ally? That was
like, wow. And then all the comparisons and
all the calls and conversations later, it just made
me really say, we have to, we have
to dial up this conversation of allies. We have
to dial up this um, assumption that because the
hate doesn't come out my mouth that I have no
social responsibility of any way, shape or form to
do more other than make sure I declare that I'm
an ally. So I've been a part of this
film for three. This is the 4th, 4th
, 4 years. This january when this vivacious amazing
director um stalked me. It's starting in Dallas in
January 2010 at creating change and she's like really new
york aggressive, which is scary and she's almost like
six ft tall. And and I was like,
yeah, okay, that's interesting. you want to
make a film about? So sure, okay,
I've been at my on this post for maybe four
months and then that initial conversation wasn't enough. Every
time I turned around, she was right there.
Look, I need to talk to you about this
and she's very new york aggressive. And even though
I'm a native new yorker, I spent most of
my life in florida, so that little aggression doesn't
really work well with me. And, and I
was like, look lady, first of all,
you know, I understand what you want to do
, but I have to understand where you want this
film to end up because it's not just my brand
at stake is my organization's brand at stake. So
I need to know that you're not going to create
a sensationalized hate white gay people, uh that you're
not going to create this conversation that woes us the
black gay community. That you're going to actually have
an authentic conversation for us by us. First person
that I am not going to be the star that
I will be a narrator because it's not about me
, it's about my community. And month after month
, year after year. As we really started owning
the footprint, we even allowed her to do a
mini film for us called Black Love Go To Youtube
. Black Love is great to really talk about uh
marriage equality fight in D. C. First hand
from our perspective featuring four amazing um black gay lesbian
gay and lesbian couples um and their personal story and
they're black love story. Okay, okay. You
notice that it's a black gay love story. Black
love story because that's another part of my mission is
we have to stop separating ourselves. We have to
start stop acting like where the new, where's new
but not normal. That's what I actually do love
the term new normal. Um because even as african
americans, everything we do is different. Our family
dynamic is different, our culture is different, That's
a lot of place where the word career came from
and just came from the concept being different. And
so I really had an appreciation for her art,
her style without really knowing much about her the person
until it evolved over the four years to see that
not only did she self identified with the community,
she took that part of her identity out of the
film making. She wanted to focus on telling the
whole story, She wanted to focus on telling the
whole black story and she wanted to show us as
one. reporter recently wrote that marriage equality was in
the backdrop of the conversation and it was really about
how the african american community grapples with the conversation of
LGBT Equality and I was like I never heard it
that way. You know if some writers are just
amazing and just to even peel it back and dial
it back and all of the footage that is actually
on the production floor, that they're making many stiff
snippets over the next year to show the different stories
that didn't make the film but are highly relevant to
the struggle. And it made it always came back
to you know, my stick system, the movement
. But it made me have an obligation to talk
about why I don't like the word ally. And
then when an academic sat me down and explained what
an ally should be and gave me an actionable term
that I could actually articulate in a way that made
sense to me and that I could hold people accountable
. It's now because you have to earn that badge
. If you just absolutely must be an ally,
you have to earn that badge. And who is
the judge of that? Me kidding. The person
. The person that especially if you walk around Ally
, it'll be so great for for organically for society
to start having a conversation. I call myself your
ally. But am I? Or would you give
me the badge of honor of being an ally?
And just because somebody's your friend does not make them
your ally. You're not a puppy. You're not
they're your friends. Allies are different actionable understanding because
I can't be an ally to LG because LGBT community
cause my best friend is gay. Now give me
that badge back. Oh. Mhm. Because being
my friend is not charity work. Mhm. It's
not even supposed to be social justice work. Being
a friend should have nothing to do with any of
my identities. You should just be enriched by learning
about our differences. You should just be enriched.
It is not a political venture for you to be
my friend and being an ally as a political venture
. It's a social construct deeply seeped in the concept
of oppression. I know this is educated bunch.
Y'all are just having a ball with this. Other
groups are like what? Um So I want to
pause there because I want to talk to you.
I don't want to talk at you because you are
an intelligent bunch and I'm going to learn so much
from you as we have this conversation together. Are
you good with that? That's so let's open it
up. Let's open it up to you. We
can go anywhere. We can go Ally, you
can go crazy, black woman standing in front of
you. We can go film, we can go
anywhere. Yes ma'am, thank you for coming in
a great film. My question, I have a
few questions but I'll try to sum up uh you're
I guess I'm actually watching the film. It seemed
like you were looking at a very specific angle with
our community within the black community often one that's not
talked about and seemed like there are a lot of
things that are in the discussion talking about black community
that weren't brought up in the film, things like
HIV AIDS single parenthood um some of the poverty,
obviously Prince George's County is a very specific place and
I was wondering how the film took that angle because
I know most people are most way people aren't exposed
to that kind of look into black life, and
also not all black people live that experience. Well
, the film was very specifically about the political climate
and society that has defined the issue of the day
for LGBT equality to be marriage equality. And what
the filmmaker chose to do was to say, and
I'm using a reporter's term put let's put marriage equality
in the background and let me take you inside the
homes, the living rooms, the churches and see
how people grapple with not only marriage equality. Because
what broke my heart in the film was Tony's story
and that, and it was so much longer and
I hope she just releases a piece on him.
You know, his story had nothing to do with
marriage equality. So, to your question, it
was a film designed for and by the Black LGBT
experience and how we survive right now and have survived
for all these generations inside our blackness And right now
you're looking at that conversation while this noise is going
on, while the civil rights movement of LGBT equality
is going on. So from a privileged perspective,
you saw Irene husk in trying to marry her partner
who had two adopted Children. There was a conversation
of adoption right there. It was a conversation about
spousal privileges. There was a conversation about what does
it look like for your mama to support you when
you're in a committed same sex relationship. That's all
those stories are right in that one little living room
and all those bicycles tone a story was I'm a
superstar, I'm loving it. I no longer have
to play in my father's choir. And the minute
I came out my world was shattered. And everything
I knew that was real to me has now vanished
. That had nothing to do with marriage equality,
but had everything to do with mental health. Had
everything to do with rejection and acceptance. As soon
as his dad accepted him for his craft, his
dad, he never talked about his dad having issued
his gaze. Dad may not even known or ever
had a conversation. His dad had a problem with
him being an entertainer versus just all of these sub
messages in terms of black life, there was no
way one film can talk about everything from blackness and
the film was certainly not created to help white people
understand black people better that you know, because I
signed a piece of paper said if you do that
, you are not allowed to use my footage at
all. Because the film, as far as we're
concerned, we didn't know what we were going to
get out of it. But one thing for sure
, we were not trying to play to the masses
. We were trying to tell a very over needed
story first and foremost for our community that has not
been told in a way that always made us victims
or caricatures. And then at the same time,
how does it feel fit right now in the heightened
level of advancements for LGBT equality. When marriage equality
happens everywhere, black people will still be 70 Households
, black households would still be seven led by single
mothers whether you're gay or not. So that social
construct that you may have been that you're questioning,
uh, there's many other stories to be told.
But you know, as I got, I didn't
get dinged. Like I think a lot of people
just enjoyed when I said, you know, when
you're still married, I'm still black and broke.
So you know, equality does not equal equity.
Equality does not equal equity. And I'm still waiting
on my 40 acres and a mule And I'm pretty
privileged, but I still want the damn 40 acres
and a mule. Yes. So like you mentioned
that there was so much that was going on that
couldn't make them very focused and how they're releasing things
. Hopefully the chinese story. Hopefully I was wondering
whether there's something that you you know, you found
the floor and things that you like, we didn't
see that you really thought was really important and you
have to share something bad I guess with that family
. Yes. Um, I used to get thrown
out of the production room. Yeah. Because I'm
, you know, I'm a little opinionated and they
were like, your film subject. You are not
one of the directors and producers, but I was
there when you shot this and it's not. Why
are you asking me to preview it then? So
there are lots of pieces that the good thing about
heading an institution that supports the film and tours with
the film is I can commission some of those other
pieces to be made. So I think there are
some great 10 and 15 minutes stories, like the
rest of the story of my house barbecue that they
decided just got a little too off message and um
, that I thought was absolutely needed to be in
that film. Um, I think that uh,
there was a lot of church scenes that on our
pro side, I didn't think the film did enough
about our worship homes. They did a feature of
me and my pastor and I have a very affirming
church didn't do anything on the church, you know
, and I told, I said, I felt
it was too focused on me and my walk and
you're the central figure, but we need to show
more affirming churches. Yes, that was my two
cents and I lost. And because they feel the
strife is not the church is that except us,
but the churches that don't and my thing is,
but people need to know there are churches that except
us. It's not my belt, but that story
will be told. So there's, you know,
but they featured Bishop Plunder, who's one of my
mentors and and big sisters, and I love her
to death and one of my spiritual leaders. And
I just I thought the integrity of her narration because
she's not a lesbian minister. She was a show
enough big time bishop in the church before it became
controversial of her radical inclusiveness and she wanted to make
sure their hair radically inclusive church that's now based in
Oakland and phenomenal that does everything from homelessness, to
trans equality issues, to economic empowerment. I'm helping
them open a franchise in a few weeks when I
go out to Oakland and that's what a church home
is supposed to be about. It's not supposed to
be enfranchising you. And also the prosperity can't just
be by the preacher. So, you know,
she has an amazing ministry and I loved how they
used her as another narrator to tell the old school
story and tell the church story. So, um
that we fought hard because but that wasn't our cider
story, that was the historical story of black people
. So that so we had historical story of black
people in our struggle. Then we had uh mister
uh Derrick McKoy story, which I told, I
think was told to well, and I still feel
like there was only a it wasn't anything on our
affirming movement. And you wouldn't know necessarily bishop blunders
and affirming minister other than how she uh narrated in
the affirming manner. It didn't talk about our evolving
churches because that wasn't the story. So even to
your point, you know, this was a very
focused, if you read the trailer message, that's
what the summation, the intent of the film was
. And it's always, you know, we've had
everything and it wasn't good trans representation wasn't a trans
story, you know, marriage right now. And
yes, because she had gone further. Yes,
but that that she wanted a very focused and that's
filmmaking, that's the industry. And I learned a
lot from the industry, not just from my opinion
, but just how disciplined they stayed and even the
investors because that was a very costly film. And
it was made over three years. Um, until
our first meeting was last summer in june during four
film festivals, um, throughout the month of june
, during pride month. And I fought to say
, why don't we release it during Black history month
? You know, so there's always gets my film
. So I lost that fight. And uh,
so I was very humble through that hole making,
I got so many knows. I'm not used to
all those knows. Um, but it was,
it was fabulous. It's just, it's an honor
to be a part of it. Uh, and
I have such a respect when people are like,
oh, film with millions. And I'm like,
why? To blow up some buildings? And uh
, and how long were somebody like, oh,
it took me 10 years to make a film?
Like why? Why? It took us three years
to make that film? And that was the first
, that was a true story. You know,
it was like three years to tell that story.
Yeah. And the ironic thing, even to your
point, Maryland wasn't even in play when we started
making the film. Think about it. We start
in January 2010. The concept of Let's Run Hard
in Maryland didn't really start. I went to like
my first organizing meeting in the fourth quarter of 2011
and the film had nothing to do with it.
And I didn't give them a lead Into who's actually
on the ground doing the work that that created caressing
Samantha's story until like early 2012, You know,
might have even been in spring 2012. So it's
just amazing how a film also had to pivot and
go in a completely different direction. And some of
the other central characters that were originally the film were
cut out and you know, just give you one
funny. I was sitting out, we were in
Los Angeles at the film festival and there were a
lot of people involved with the film and even run
credits for people who stuff didn't make it. And
when the photographers sitting behind me, I remember him
from a shoot, I don't know what part of
country we were in. And he was like my
footage didn't make it in the film. And I
was like oh you know, I was like wow
that's just uncomfortable. You invited him to the premier
. Why? You know because he was not happy
, not happy anybody else. Yes sir. I
thought it was interesting. I saw a piece on
democracy now shortly after the election in Maryland where they
interviewed the director of the NaacP and he talked about
the groundwork and all and all the work that went
on in the state of Maryland and the role that
the church and the families within the church played in
actually getting that legislation passed. And it would not
have been successful had the african american church not been
heart of the movement to get that done. And
I thought it was very well done. And it
actually plays along very well with the information that's provided
in this film. So if you've not had an
opportunity to take a look at Amy Goodman's interview with
Delman Coates, um yeah, I think he's running
for lieutenant governor now, Maryland by the way,
it was about a 30 minute piece really, it
was very, very information and they've done it several
pieces on the film. I thought you were going
to talk about that one. I just watched um
there were two lead pastors but Delman Coates who has
uh Either 5000 member 8000 member church um not far
from my home and I didn't really know him.
I actually wasn't really sure where he was going with
it. And he's turned into an amazing champion.
Um He's actually running for lieutenant governor with a white
lesbian as the governor candidate who is also a member
of state Legislature. So um he called me last
week just to talk about the race and whether or
not I could support them. And it was just
interesting the backstory Of how the very first minister probably
in 2011 in Maryland when I decided I was gonna
that I was going to play a different role similar
to that small round table when it was four of
us talking about the challenges and I went to visit
black ministers and traditional black churches in Maryland to get
their temperature. And uh one particular pastor of an
A. M. E. Church who happened to
be an old friend in a previous life and I
sat him down and I was like you know this
is what we're doing. He was like Sharon before
you can talk to me about marriage, introduced me
to the Black LGBT community in my church. I
was like what I don't go to your church and
he was like help me understand the challenges of the
Black LGBT community in my community so I can embrace
their needs before you ask me to support the white
agenda. He told me without blinking and I was
like God this is gonna be harder than I thought
. And um but it was so honest and it
really changed even and and the pastor who really ran
with it was Delman Coates who was in the film
and he historically black churches when pastor step out there
have lost members of the congregation. In the past
. His congregation grew And even though those and he
has an 8000 member church and it's really become the
church that black LGBT people have started migrating to.
And it's because just because we found our space of
truth that we are gay, lesbian, bisexual,
transgender, you know, questioning whatever our situation is
, we still are black too. And we grew
up with a very core centered and a lot of
us grew up essentially, a majority of us grew
up essentially rooted in the church. So if you
either or anti church or you still long for that
connection. So a lot of members of our community
and this is I did faith based work before.
That's how I got involved with the film in the
first place. Pre even N. B. J
. C. Um no one should be in a
position to have to choose their blackness or their gayness
and a lot of times that's where the movement loses
people because people feel that the LGBT agenda is too
aggressive and it's not as diplomatic in this film has
help people deal with that. Like I could have
that conversation in my living room, I can have
that conversation in a small circle or shock when you
call like my minister together and my mom and me
and I was like, I don't know if they're
gonna accept my call, you know, but it's
really neat that people are starting to think how can
I approach this conversation? How can I hell,
how can I go back home And a lot of
people are purchasing the film. Film was going out
on DVD soon and will be on netflix and everything
else. But it was interesting in what as an
organization and a leader of an organization. I sat
down and say, what is my social responsibility to
help market this film? Because we don't get anything
from it period. Um, but it's amazing exposure
for our work and that's, you know, that's
a gift enough. But it's also amazing tool because
advocacy is your issue on steroids. Your lived experience
is something else. Your lived experience is something else
. Going home for mother's days is not about Barack
Obama endorsing marriage equality To Robin Roberts on in May
of 2012 and no one making an issue as to
why he decided to have a conversation with Robin Roberts
. But a year and a half later she comes
out that no one was surprised about. But it's
just interesting how invisible we are. And I'm really
speaking specifically about Black LGBT people that it was.
Anderson Cooper. The whole conversation would've been about Anderson
cooper, not about the president coming out. The
president came out to Anderson Cooper who went on to
blah blah blah blah blah. No man. They
were like, what she had, she was having
cancer at the time. I'm like, we can
find every excuse. Mhm. About you know why
we're invisible? It amazes me. It amazes me
anybody else. Yes. Um First of all,
in the film, we can see like into the
closing, we'll see yourself your church and then you
advocating for civil rights. The maximum the high Qadri
merge those two spheres of devices. Um I grew
up in the I didn't grow up with any hate
in my life. I represent multiple identities and and
my community self identifying. Um around LGBT issues.
For me, it's just like me self identifying as
being left handed, that's just who I am.
You know, you could try my hand behind my
back, you could try to make me right,
right, but I'm still gonna whip out this left
hand and it's going to do what she got to
do, you know? So when I even think
about the simplicity of identity, I didn't, I
grew up in a, you know, I grew
up in flowers and whole bunch of bananas and coconuts
and my family's from Costa rica. Now, you
all understand, you know, we just grew up
, we just grew up with love and there was
no conversation, No, there was homophobia, I'm
not gonna be a hypocrite about that, but it
wasn't something that impacted me theologically because I am a
christian, but I'm a jesus christian, and jesus
loved everybody. And there was never there was never
a conversation of somebody being cast it out and you
know, and I don't impose my religion on anybody
else. So my story and my reality and my
love, you know, people get offended when I
say I'm not a bible, something, I'm not
, that's my story, So the bible is a
book of really bad situations and a whole lot of
tragedy and evil and it's written by a man,
you know, and so all of the, the
need to I mean if we actually lived biblically,
we would all be really, it would be I
can go now with the bible, but I don't
, you know, literally, you know, and
so people grapple, I mean the hypocrisy about divorced
pasta hypocrisy of single parenthood, the hypocrisy of adultery
. The you know, all of the hypocrisy is
that for some reason is okay, is okay?
You lose me when you have one thing in there
that must be biblically sound. You lose me.
I don't I don't live in a fantasy land.
So spiritually there's no divide. And I and my
pastors are co pastor husband wife team and they were
the first um uh heterosexual couple to actually heterosexual clergy
to even marry in D. C. And and
they were in a fight. Well you before me
and we found each other you know in this work
and then their ministry spoke to my soul. But
you know we go to church to talk about their
grandson who has sickle cell and we rally around sickle
cell. We talk about our food pantry that you
know we all need to come and give to and
we talk about the clinic that services all health disparities
including HIV aids. And you know we also talk
about our couples ministry that doesn't discriminate. There's not
a hetero couples ministry and others. We have a
couple of ministries, all are welcome and gay men
that is married are hilarious, you know, so
we have a ball in a couple of ministry,
we have a ball, you know, So I
think about things like that um that I have to
I'm not a professional paid advocate. Uh and my
husband's family, as you saw in the film,
really humbled me because he has a gay nephew,
a gay first cousin, gay aunt. Um A
lot of fully. I mean it got really you
wanna see something footage. It got really deep in
Aunt Michelle. I wish they would have just kept
some of that stuff in there. Um You would
be surprised if people, people's mental health status who
are huge adversaries and sometimes the adversary is themselves because
of things they grapple with and where they don't want
to go. So they just condemn everything, anybody
that lives there. Truth, that might be where
they fear to go. Yes. One more question
. What what is your position on to remember?
Because I don't know some people that have growing up
in the Black Church where their parents actually sent into
sexual reassignment. Speaking about the mental health aspects,
you speak on that ways to mm Honestly, the
LGBT Community as a whole is really about to step
it up in a mental health area, Us institutionally
. It is one of our issue priorities that we
re aligned ourselves with in 2013 to say we do
a disservice with all this. Happy, happy joy
, Joy were out and proud and not recognize that
some of those out and proud people got submissions to
. But there's a whole lot of pain that needs
to be clinically supported and there's a whole lot of
trials and tribulations Monica and I were talking about that
earlier today and I have a personal passion to do
work around black lesbians and bisexual women because our health
disparities are not being recognized around women health issues and
particularly black women health issues. So as much as
we want to take a black man to the doctor
and as much as we want to make sure our
gay brothers are, are front and center with the
HIV epidemic. Again, we have to be socially
responsible to look at all of our health disparities because
in our, within our community, first and foremost
, we have to recognize were black too and black
health disparities around the minority community health, obesity,
diabetes, hypertension, um, everything clinical, we're
at the top of the charts. So also,
HIV shouldn't be in the other category. It should
be in a minority community health category. And it
should be part of the larger conversation, a larger
construct of minority community health if we're actually going to
make any progress. So, absolutely, as the
country just wants to talk about who's shooting up where
and, you know, you all know better than
anybody else. There's a whole lot of mental health
issues across the spectrum. And as the country starts
looking at mental health and I hate it only being
around gun control. Um, but that's a real
issue. But it's just like marriage equality is a
real issue. But there's a whole lot of other
real issues um, around mental health that can get
to a point that prevents all of that, because
our mental health issues are associated with suicide rate.
You know, and there's so much not being told
about that. And I question the amount of suicide
rates and military that especially before. Don't repeal,
don't ask, don't tell how many of those persons
that we write off as as post traumatic stress syndrome
or PTSD from war that were actually members of our
community dealing with the possibility being outed, dealing with
. You know, I mean because the population to
give you a comparison, um a study just came
out of the Williams Institute and black women, the
percentage of black women in the military. Um black
lesbians are three times more likely as black women to
go into military than a heterosexual black woman three times
. And it's been quantified. So when you even
think about that, that's an economic justice issue,
that's, you know, and so all of the
things associated with that, that piece of our identity
not being recognized also comes at a cost for all
the things that are being underserved by not recognizing it
. Yes. Mhm. Yeah. The film's success
place that J is the Well that's that's you know
, I said, why do I know you were
going to be personally asked that the interesting thing that
you just ran with is the movie is called The
New Black. It's not called Gay is the New
Black. The assumption that makes good theater is that
we're saying gays of New Black. But guess what
? The assumption is that we ran with the New
Black is the black gay community rising up and asserting
itself in its real nous that were the unfinished business
of the civil rights movement. So it's not gay
is the New Black is black. Gay is the
New Black and we own in our power in that
movie and we're not let anybody take it away from
us. So there's your answer and I'm sticking,
I'm sticking with it. Of course you do.
There's a lot of heard a lot of turmoil and
strife which was touched on by this one. Thought
the issue could have been explored more deeply of the
anger animosity that you see a lot of folks,
especially since the civil rights, many people are still
alive from that era feeling like it's this appropriation.
Mhm. And there's a lot of animosity. Well
, the current term gay is the New Black was
born in the advocate. So I could say need
, I say more and it was a white man
of privilege, co opting the opportunity to draw another
parallel to the civil rights movie. So civil rights
movement black, some black gay people rebuked it.
So it's just like anything else. It's just like
the term ally. It's too loosely used. So
somebody saw a cheap opportunity to identify with a struggle
that it's all about the Messenger. Honestly, when
I say it, I don't get the backlash that
somebody else says it and we've done a million studies
on who the Messenger is. So it really is
about the context. It's like I won't allow someone
to tell me that that film is about gay is
the New Black because the headline says the New Black
. Now you can, let's talk about that as
we just did. And then once I'm finished,
they usually don't give me a follow up. But
but it is honest, it is very honest that
there is a history behind it and you're absolutely right
. And the history was because the Messenger behind that
statement didn't look like the community and this film allows
us to, uh, this film is doing exactly
what it's accomplishing it, because it's evoking this kind
of thought and that's what a good film is supposed
to do is supposed to leave you, especially social
conscious film, supposed to leave you with starting hard
conversations or really having the opportunity, that the way
that they even reflected both sides, it's an opportunity
to have civil conversations. And I'm more surprised I
had a group of ministers, I just didn't a
talk at north Carolina Central last week. And there
was some ministers that came and they challenged the audience
and they said, what does an affirming church look
like to you? And this was a predominantly all
black audience and they were like, they had a
canary in amount. They were like, I never
thought the Minister would ask me that. And that's
hugely healing because everybody figures the ministers in charge he
leads, he struck determines how he's going to go
. And he is in a very affirming audience,
asking what what would I have to do as a
pastor to win your acceptance, which I so respected
him to determine what me. And then he and
then he didn't qualify because I'm not gonna just over
single out any one group. And he and they
said that that was a deal breaker. He was
like, and make sure you don't single out to
exclude anyone. And then it just turned into an
amazing conversation. So, you know, 99 of
the health disparity issues in the black communities, because
we don't talk about it. I want to talk
about human sexuality at all. I was so happy
. She allowed me to keep that in a little
bit, but that that you keep making me think
I did a great piece on that. And she
said I took it too far. Like I thought
that's what you wanted. Yes. When I was
about to ask but in the movie, most of
the passengers that were against gay rights. Ah the
way at least portrayed movie that was very like one
way conversation, it's time to church. But they
were talking to the congregation and the conversation was just
kind of like finally did you ever see any pushback
from those congregations to the pastor or just publicly people
in those or was it kind of like they were
in the silo and then like the other castles were
over here. Yeah. I actually did at the
ballot box at that was public. That was public
as hell. Let me let me let me break
that down for you. The movie started with California
And it started with the vilification of the black vote
in California black people are seven of California 7%.
So not the 12 Asian population Not the 25 Latino
population all that you know just them seven black folks
not all the churchgoers But the seven of black folks
cause marriage to go awry in California. Whereas in
Maryland the black folk vote really mattered and Maryland is
a bible thumping state and in real ways that's why
it was so much for those churches organized their butts
off against the initiative and they I live in P
. G. County And it was hard to be
driving to D. C. Every day and drive
past the 12 churches that I have to pass to
get to D. C. And see all this
anti question six stuff and I'm new to you know
I'm a carpetbagger. So for me you know my
husband from the military in 2011 we got married in
oh nine we moved to P. G. County
. So you know I'm getting a little credit I'm
five years and they actually they actually invited me to
my first political meeting next week. That's funny I
just thought about that and um and I guess I'm
becoming a Marylander and But it was no different in
Florida because in'08 the story that's another piece that
was on the floor. It's all about California but
my state voted against marriage in 2000 and also it
was a hard referendum in the state of florida.
So you know I lived it twice but nobody wants
to tell the other story and then so that was
like a third time in Maryland where it just more
than florida. I mean Maryland like in a 20%
Um I can't I should know it but I don't
um%, I was like 22 or 27 African American
. That's a huge voting block. Now that can
change an election and that's what they did. They
targeted the black church in the state of Maryland Maryland
has mega mega mega churches. Prince George's County is
as you heard Samantha say the wealthiest county in the
United States of african americans. It's also The#
one state of where black LGBT people live. So
again, that's that, you've got to pull that
up, go to Williams, All the Black LGBT
people here go to William's Institute site and look at
that study. It is fabulous. I'll tell you
what to move and uh it puts forth, wait
a minute. I think I have it with me
. And it puts, I love this study and
I haven't done my homework for the plane. It
actually tells you the top 10 cities for our community
. Which makes life planning so easy. I know
I am going to make me give me just tweet
me, I'll send it to you. Um,
top 10 states for same sex couples with African American
households.# one, which is not a state
that's a whole another fight. District of Columbia.
Uh you know all these political number one place for
a black LGBT person to live is District of Columbia
. However, if you want your vote to count
the# one state is Maryland. So Maryland is
number two, Georgia's number three. Yeah, you're
so stereotypical. Number four is Louisiana. Number five
. Pack your bags.# five is Mississippi.
Could I say that at all? Number six is
Delaware, Number seven in south Carolina. Number eight
is north Carolina. Number nine is Alabama. Number
10 is new york now. How ironic, how
many Southern states are on here. So when you
talk about the conversation of voting rights and LGBT equality
rights, it's where we live. We matter.
It just needs to be declared that we matter.
D. C. Maryland. I know y'all wrote
it down. Y'all sweeten it right now. D
. C. Maryland, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi
, Delaware south Carolina, north Carolina, Alabama,
new york. Yeah, I want the counties.
So you know exactly what it moved. Number one
um, County is Baltimore city. Don't move there
too much. Found. Number two is lee county
south Carolina. Who knew lee county south Carolina.
Number three is Bamberg county south Carolina. I have
no idea what that is. Um, most of
the best, this has the most same sex couples
led by an african american household. Not want to
deal with the stats that also can mean an interracial
couple. So, um, because we swerve in
our community, Clayton count, did I say that
? I'm sorry. I'm in mixed company. Excuse
me. I'm not a politician. Uh huh.
Clayton county Georgia. Macon county Alabama. Prince George's
County is# six. Um, you get a
good job there to the Cobb county is number seven
interesting because Prince George and Dick cop alternate on the
african american index of the two wealthiest counties where african
americans live And it made the top 10 for black
LGBT people, which just means we're falling. So
that's something to think about if you're looking for a
partner. Hello and honey, I got my husband
match dot com. I don't know about the rest
of y'all. So I'm always conscious and I'm not
joking and I'm very conscious of it and I'm the
cap county Georgia, D. C. Oh,
this is by Top, yeah, this top 10
counties. So the state is a different ranking.
But in terms of percentage of population, these are
where we are saturated. Holmes county Mississippi. I
gotta find out what cities in Holmes County, there's
only 20, so it must be a small county
. They have the actual raw number here to not
not enough to go around Fulton county Georgia is number
10 and it's 10,000 of us there 10,000 households.
So there's a potential and this is just from,
this is from the Census Bureau now the census.
So this is not like some random phone calling.
This is the actual sense of that. That means
we checked the box. That's different. So you
know, and we know our community, this is
who said they are, That means it's 34 times
in that community. That's the, that's some good
stuff. So if you want to know geographically these
are places that also mean that there is a community
because there's no way why that you're gonna be like
, hey, I'm here and you're in the deep
South and you're gonna put that on the senses not
and you're, you feel safe enough, that means
you're somewhat intelligent, senses it's really anonymous and that
we're so saturated there. So and again, Miss
Atlanta, nobody was surprised with some of these locations
and other locations are a big surprise. So in
the north Carolina, I mean that is like the
academic black lesbian headquarters and all of that together.
The academic black lesbian. It's amazing. And their
retreats. I go to all of the 300 we
party like it's 1999 and I mean and these these
women have standards and you better come like you got
some sense and but its fat. I mean,
so I love that from a community construct perspective,
because I'm in this movement for quality of life issues
at the end of day, I don't want to
be a stick, I don't want to be pierce
morgan's fodder for the knife. You know, we
want to we have Children the same way, we
have bills, the same way we have careers,
y'all hear matriculating at a very prestigious institution. So
all of these things have to matter beyond, you
know, uh this is so sad, but it's
true, you know, marriage equality is on the
rise, and so is gay divorce, you know
, so there's legislation that's being written in those gay
affirming states that passed marriage because they didn't pass divorce
. So the so the bible thumpers are back in
there trying to you all don't want to get in
this fight because the biggest divorce rate is against churchgoers
. But it's so interesting how they just trying to
slime their way in somewhere and they get sliming yourself
back out. So At the top 10 states for
African American individuals, there's a difference between couples and
individuals. So let me give that to the number
one state. Again, it's district of Columbia.
This is for the single circuit. Louisiana is number
two georges. Number three north Carolina is number four
, Mississippi's number five, New Jersey's number 10.
That means all the gay married couples in Maryland cause
we way down at seven. Um, Alabama's eight
michigan made it in their nine for singles and new
york is number 10. That's pretty impressive. So
I, I mean, I can't tell you enough
how this is such an amazing study that it gives
this much information about our community. Did she make
us proud? Yes. Really? I just wanted
Do you think do you think it matters if you
choose to actually date the same sex or or Thanks
. Well, the reason, especially in our community
, it's a lost conversation when you talk about the
bisexual community. So it becomes again, that's that's
that's another heterosexual. Hang up. Like it has
to make some scientific sense for me to accept.
You go to hell if I'm freaky like a dickey
or I was born this way. Deal with it
because nobody asked heterosexual as well, aren't you?
I heard you in a menage a twat and yourself
off the disorders ever touch, You know what I
mean? You know? So, I mean,
I'm very critical. I mean, to me,
our community needs to give it right back to heterosexuals
. Need to give it right back. Did you
get your herpes from a same sex person or that
opposite set for? You know? I mean,
so I mean, I just think it's so hypocritical
when you feel like you have to have the clinical
rationale or you have to be able to declare that
we're just a freaky society. It is it is
it is again, it's given their power away.
Yes. Okay. Yeah. Died at the age
of just wondering if there was already mm. Thank
you. Thanks. Oh, there's a lot.
Um and that's where, you know, parental rights
steps in, you know? But that's why there's
groups like the Trevor Project, that's why there's a
group like, listen, that's why, you know
, um there's a lot of good counties in this
country, um that support our gay youth in a
very meaningful way. The age of entry is really
about how um how much the parents cry for help
or how much they are the problem. So when
you talk about again human sexuality, there's there is
a age appropriate um, entry in the public school
system to even have the conversation. So just because
once I come into my own and this person that
you're talking about is in her twenties and others that
I've heard just as young, you know, you're
not talking about your first crush, even if even
if it's at four, that's still low early,
you know, So it's not that then it just
becomes that person's personal testimony. It becomes when you
finally sit down and have the healthy conversation and you
realize hopefully it's an embracing conversation. One of the
questions is always when did you know? You know
, and so If it was unhealthy from 4 to
20, then we need some clinical support because we
don't know when you know what we may or may
not be dealing with at the same time. There
are so many variables that need to come into that
conversation. So I, you know, all joking
aside, I do believe people are born. Um
that's my personal belief. But then there's also my
personal belief and personal um intelligence that they're hermaphrodites.
So when you want to get into all of those
issues, then you can be having a trans conversation
, you could be having a sexual orientation conversation.
You know, there's so many complexities that the the
beautiful thing about the complexity for me is let's talk
about it, let's deal with it. Let's love
it. Let's make it healthy. Let's create a
dialogue, Let's create some curriculums. Let's complete let's
create some support groups. Because more than anything that
matters to me for my constituency that I represent every
day is where's the support? Where's the support which
then you have to get a little more sophisticated.
And then you have to talk about mental and emotional
support. And then you got to get even more
invasive and say, well, you know, I
can't stand seeing two men kissing really well when your
daughter and had a fresh crush. Did you sit
down and talk to him? Of course I did
. Well, did you sit down with your son
when he told you he likes boys? You know
what I mean? So where's that? So,
a lot of our communities learning in the street is
learning, you know, or trying to model heterosexual
behavior, which is it's not the same thing.
It's not the same set of circumstances. So,
I'm very concerned about our communities. Access to support
, access to constructive curriculum, access to resources that
um enable our constituency to have a quality of life
and access to support for quality of life like everyone
else. Yes, we have. Mhm. Baby
. Quite I don't know. Thanks. Mhm.
She is sure her question is amazing. All right
. This came up earlier today. There was talking
uh heard you playing got delayed and I never thought
about we're talking about ah Black frats and sororities and
the intersectionality with LGBT and what goes on there.
And so I saw your life member. So I
was wondering your thoughts about those who goes over there
to ask you questions and kelly and some other people
here. So I was wondering what your thoughts.
There's none of them film stuff because that's my new
mission. And they cut that out the film.
I'm gonna make a list. Thank you. I'll
make a list. I am going to make a
list. I think that one of my um personal
missions is to focus on all the other african american
traditional institutions other than the church where we commune,
where we have a sense of belonging. That includes
fraternities and sororities. That includes historical black colleges and
universities, that includes our social status groups. The
bull is and links that includes professional, the national
Bar association who will not include sexual orientation in their
, in their ordinance that I'm fighting publicly. Um
, um, the black society, the Society of
Black Engineers, you know, I think that there
is a role for Um, workplace conversations because of
out for work, which is one of our unequal
and out for work, which are huge organization.
Fortune 500 companies are lightning years ahead of the government
with LGBT equality issues. Lightning years. The problem
is, I mean one of the just to give
you a comparison, the large, the most powerful
employee affinity group in America are called the googlers.
Where do you think they work Google's googlers? And
they had the audacity to call themselves the googlers and
they put their money where their mouth is, they
put their infrastructure. Um I had my first um
summit meeting at the White House office of HBCU s
during their annual meeting during congressional black caucus and our
workshop was sponsored by the googlers, you know,
so when I and google is a staunch supporter of
hutus and they wanted to support that workshop. So
when I even think about how Fortune 500 companies,
I go to this thing called out on Wall Street
and every major ceo in the country is there to
talk to out corporate executives because you get a better
employee when they can be whole and healthy when they
can bring all of themselves to work every day.
So, I mean these are deep studies. I
mean we are quantified community And I say we meaning
the LGBT led by white gay men uh movement has
quantified the movement at$800 billion equality is the only
social justice movement. Hold onto your hats, this
is my clothes, you're ready. The only social
justice movement in the history of this country that's led
by white men, all you had to went like
this because because because they're oppressed too. Yeah,
that's my point. So when I mean social justice
movement is about oppression and in this history this question
this country, white men have not been the bearers
of oppression, but social justice movement for LGBT Equality
is for them by them and all of us must
rise up to to own that were part of that
community, but we have to own it in our
way and that is an intersectional way because we live
in dual oppressions. We live in dual oppressions and
sometimes polly oppressions. So, you know, it
is it is something to be thought about. and
50 years from now the history books will be articulating
it hopefully In in our own fashion like this film
in somebody's library 50 years from now. But um
thank you. Okay, thank you. Okay,
first person called here can have the study. Mhm
. Ah Yeah, yeah. Your uh you give
them your email, they're going to email it to
you because it is online. The Okay, so
thank you everyone for coming. Queer people of color
at Virginia Tech would like to thank mrs Sharon J
. Leichtman hicks again for coming and celebrating Black History
Month and having a great conversation with us about Black
History 3 65 Round of applause for queer people of
colour. The organizations that yes, I would like
to thank you and thank you for that. And
Monica will now. So I have a hug leave
. We got a lot of great support to put
this together. Um, so please tell me remember
they're all in the poster and can't forget. But
multicultural Kansas services office for divers. Use the graduate
office sometimes versus just look black chapter of Delta Single
. Yes. University libraries Shut up. Um,
okay. The vision of student affairs. Yes.
They all supported financially too. So remember those names
. So you have events go to those people seriously
because they are invested. They are invested. So
I would highly recommend. So we wanted to say
thank you again to Sharon. And Sharon has a
brand new baby. So we put keys. Well
, we gotta show them for you. He's delicious
. He is delicious. So we put this in
there for him brainwashing him already. And then um
, for that question, I want to look at
his face. I love my grandma whose home taking
care of him while I'm here. His name is
Nalo alexander, Freeman Hicks. That's and um,
tomorrow's question. Um, Sharon, it's also amazing
member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated. So we
also wanted to give her a gift from the chapters
. Just say thank you for all your work and
being an innovator, thank you, thank you And
we'll take a picture. So Sharon is greatly gonna
hang out for a little bit afterwards in case she
like had a question and you want to ask or
just chat with her, she'll be around. So
please please take advantage of this woman being here in
front of us. Um, also there's goody bags
to take with you. I have strategically planted people
to veteran sure that you take a bath. That
also has information from M. B. J.
C. And some other things. Um, and
there's food in there that's prepackaged. So take it
. Um, and some of the information that sharing
shed is shared is also in some of the information
of M B J D. There's a website called
let's L E T S. Let's talk L G
B T and dot org. Let's talk LGBT dot
org is all about conversations of african americans and LGBT
equality and issues that matter. So those reports are
linked out there also one more, one more thing
where people of color is having an event in this
room Next Wednesday, February 26 and we'll be highlighting
the life of Bayard Rustin and having an activist workshop
after the screen. So all of you better show
up dinner will be served okay? And look forward
to Pride Week stuff happening. And yes, that
is all okay. Thank you.