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Hello everyone. Anyone sitting in the front please be

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mindful of the camera recording. So queer people of

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color at Virginia Tech, Newman Libraries, the Office of

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Multicultural Programs and Services, and the Women's Center welcomes you

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all to the inaugural Intersectional Identity series events. I

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am Takara Watson. I'm a new directors,

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couple of family therapist at Your House in Syracuse, New York.

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Um so how Romney got here actually tweeted

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her around midnight um late, late night. Um

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I was basically a fan girl because I was surprised

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he actually tweeted me back. Um and at that

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point Natasha was like, you should totally asked her

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to speak first talk and then I did and then

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things started happening. So thank you. Thank you

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. Um an awareness campaign founded by Key Pocket E

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. T. This identity series means to give visibility

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to nuance, personal and professional experience about an active

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print people of color Found in my Natasha cops in

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2012. Q. Pocket BT aims to get faculty

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, staff, students and new River Valley community members

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the opportunity to understand and celebrate the diversity of being

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a person of color within the L. G.

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B. Plus community, your cultural, arts,

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health and advocacy programming. We acknowledge the challenges and

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triumph and triumph. Excuse me of racial and sexual

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minorities. We envision a campus and local community that

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is fully inclusive of sexual minorities of color and commit

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to dismantling racism, cystic, hetero sexism and all

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other forms of oppression. Um. Q. Pack

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Fbt exact board recognition. Before and again, we

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like to recognize them. Um, but the board

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of all of whom could not unfortunately be here tonight

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. However, if you are here, please stand

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and be recognized. Marketing Madura Bogusky. No community

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outreach chair, Monica motley Treasurer Kindle Bullock. Well

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there because this is Vice president Chris Tyler. No

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. And the president massage. Mhm I'm going to

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introduce romy. I'm going to say a quick thing

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and then she will be up here next. Um

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, Robin Clinker comes to us from long beach California

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. Born in Los Angeles to a mexican native american

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father and german mother and raised in Pasadena California.

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She learned early in life to embrace the culture,

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abundance and diversity around her, exposing her life for

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the world to see on Showtime's parallel words. Mommy

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shared her struggles with alcohol, commitment to getting sober

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, her love life and her vision. Her jewelry

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line is immense gratitude that Virginia tech welcomes roomy Rory

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quicker. Thank you. Can you hear me?

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I don't know if this thing works. Is it

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good? I'm good here here, awesome. Thank

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you guys so much for having me. Um yes

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, I did get tweeted in the middle of the

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night and asked to come speak here and I was

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honored and I do try and respond as much as

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I can on social media to anybody asking any questions

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about anything they've seen on television or about my story

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. So when they asked, I absolutely wanted to

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come, um, thank you guys. It's a

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beautiful campus. I just got a tour um by

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the most school spirited man I've ever met. So

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, um pretty much if any of you don't know

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the show that I was on, I was on

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the real L. Word, which is on Showtime

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, where you guys familiar with the show? Everyone

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pretty much. Yeah. Okay. Um, it

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was on for three years. We just ended our

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last season and through my time with the show,

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I revealed a lot about my life, um in

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all different areas and I didn't, I know there's

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a lot of questions that people have had for me

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in regards to my sexuality. Um my struggle with

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addiction, my love life, my family and just

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where I come from. I think it's a little

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difficult when you're on a television show to really,

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he portrayed the way that you would like to be

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, you don't get an honest chance to really tell

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your story. I thought going into it, that

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I would get more of an opportunity to reach out

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to people that might be going through some things that

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I've been through or that I was going through at

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the time. And if it did help anybody,

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then I'm really grateful for doing it and for being

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open with my life. But to give you guys

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a little bit of an idea of where I come

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from, I am in long beach California. I

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was raised in Pasadena um by my father, who

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is Mac was is mexican. He passed away from

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cancer a few years ago. Um didn't get to

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know his side of the family very well. Um

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he was a little bit ashamed of being mexican and

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I think he felt like he would be more successful

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if he tried to be white, so he never

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would speak spanish around me um just to my family

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and I wasn't really open to teaching me or letting

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me even in on that side of the family.

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My mother, who is white, is who I

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spent more of my time with. Um I wish

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and hope to spend more time going and researching where

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my family is from and a little bit more about

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my latin side. Um like I said my father

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passed away a few years ago. Um so I

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think it's gonna just be more of a journey to

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explore that. I did do a jewelry line called

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casa por vida, which was on the show and

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it was just an honor of my family and my

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father and my way of using my my own kind

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of talents and arts to kind of connect with him

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when he was gone. So I had the opportunity

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of doing a beautiful line Kosovo vita and it was

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dedicated to my father. Um my mother and him

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were divorced when I was about six and my mother

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ended up marrying a woman. So I was raised

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with two moms. Um I didn't really have a

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chance to get to understand what was happening when it

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happened. I was pretty young so all of a

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sudden My mom's marrying a woman and we're moving in

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and we're about to be a family and at that

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time it was when prop 22 was around and it

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was just a totally different time period but it was

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kind of it became my family. So I was

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the girl that was going to school that had two

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moms and there were no other kids in my school

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at least that I knew of. Um that had

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two moms. One of my mom's was very much

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dressed like a man and the other one was much

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more feminine, it was very obvious to anybody that

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I had you know, two moms when we were

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out in public, I didn't get teased, I

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didn't get harassed, I was very comfortable and honored

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by my family. They were an amazing family.

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My mom's were very loving and they raised me to

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be very open and accepting and that love was love

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and it just had nothing to do with the gender

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. My aunt was with a woman as well.

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So I grew up with my two moms and my

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aunt being with a woman and that was my family

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and that's what I knew. And I had my

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father and it wasn't as if I was deprived of

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having my relationship with my father. I just had

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extra love, had extra parents. So I had

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my two moms. Um, I was raised with

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two younger brothers. My father was in the Vietnam

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war and sprayed with agent orange. That's what he

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passed away from. So it caused a cancer in

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him that he couldn't fight. And it was directly

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from that and my brothers both ended up being affected

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by it and had special needs. So one of

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them Is a little bit slower. He's not like

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retarded. The youngest one is, he's missing his

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18th chromosome and they are angels in my life and

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I love them to pieces and I'm so blessed to

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have them. So I've had an interesting and colorful

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family, um, to say the least, but

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very loving, very accepting and used to not,

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I guess being normal. I don't even know what

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that is, but we were a family. Um

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, I was with men and growing up and I

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was just going to school doing my thing and slowly

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and surely I started to find myself falling in love

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with women came out to my family when I was

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, I think in my early 20's I moved to

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San Francisco and needless to say I came back with

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very fund fond emotions for women. Um, so

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I don't think that they could really say anything.

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Considering that I was raised with two moms. I

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don't, I didn't have to go through coming the

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struggle of coming out, which I know a lot

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of people go through and to me it's just completely

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foreign. Um My family was very accepting and very

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loving and it was about who I loved and it

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wasn't even like a coming out for me, it

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was just I love a girl right now, I

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have a girlfriend, this is who I love.

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Okay, moving on, it wasn't a big deal

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, it wasn't something we had to announce to the

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family, my whole family met my first girlfriend,

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it was just accepted. And then, you know

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, as time went on, the show started to

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happen, um I've been dating women, I had

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been dating men and just kind of exploring with my

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own personal journey and you know, my young twenties

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, kind of who I loved and was it a

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man? Was it a woman? And didn't matter

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at all if it was one or the other and

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the show um happened in my life a few years

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ago, they were filming in L. A.

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With Whitney, who is one of the main characters

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of the show and she was actually casted for the

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show and I was not, I was just around

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and live there and it was something that kind of

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fell into my life. Um I got wrapped up

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in it and had been in a relationship with her

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before the show started. And this is when a

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lot of things became very public for me and my

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life changed, and all of the things that come

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with my life were put out there for everybody to

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watch and have an opinion on and probably the first

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time I've ever experienced any kind of bullying and discrimination

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, which I'd never had in my life. Um

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I was very open with my struggle on the show

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with my addiction to alcohol. I have struggled with

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bipolar since I was 14 years old, and with

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that came an addiction problem with alcohol. I'm having

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a camera crew on you while you're trying to get

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sober and figure out where in your life you are

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and what you can handle and what you can't handle

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. The stresses of it are, I can't even

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explain, and then to have people's opinions of what

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you need to be doing or how you should be

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living your life for what you're doing wrong is just

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, it's very difficult to go through. It was

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an incredible learning experience, and I'm grateful for it

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, and I got to kind of watch myself grow

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up in a way and go through some things that

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I don't think most people get to watch and actually

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see your actions. Um so I went through that

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with some of the show and I went through a

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little bit of my journey just with my sexuality and

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love. And I was dating a girl named Kelsey

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on the show for a few for one of the

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seasons and then I started to date my ex boyfriend

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on the last season of the L. Word and

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I actually married him. This did not go over

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very well with the gay and lesbian community. So

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to kind of give you an idea, I mean

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, I Was raised with two moms. I had

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been going to gay pride since I was like 12

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years old. This was my family, this is

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what I grew up with and just love. And

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then I get on the show and I'm dating a

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woman. It happens to be at that time in

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my life. I was in love with women,

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that's who I was falling in love with. And

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then in the last season when Dusty, my husband

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came back into my life and I decided to follow

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my heart and leave my girlfriend and go and be

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with him. Which thank God I did because I'm

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very blessed and I love him very much and he's

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been through a lot with the show and everyone's opinions

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. But the show pretty much told the story of

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a bisexual person being very confused and not to be

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trusted. And I guess there's the stereotypes of being

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greedy and not knowing what you want. And I

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think that I think that we're just missing the entire

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point of equality and love when we start judging people

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within our community or anyone's story. I was following

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my heart. I don't consider myself by order straight

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or gay or anything right now. I consider myself

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married and that is really the only label that I

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need. And I don't think that it means it's

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one of the other sex. It's that I fell

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in love with the person and that person happened to

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be a man this time and it could have been

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a woman and it could have been a man and

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you don't choose these things, your heart chooses them

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. And I got so much hate from the gay

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community that I had been a part of for so

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many years and I have been throwing events and been

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very active in my friends and everything I knew was

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a part of that community. And then I stopped

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being asked to show up at events and I stopped

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being asked to attend any events. Anyone who was

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associated with me, whether it was with my clothing

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line or my jewelry line, anything that I had

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tied in and kind of worked really hard for with

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work was pretty much cut off. Nobody wanted to

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be associated with the by girl or the girl that

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was with a guy. Um, I didn't do

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the show so that I could be yes, I

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am a lesbian. Hear me roar. I did

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the show to tell my life and tell my journey

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and my personal story. And I think it's important

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to realize that even within the community, everybody's different

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. Everyone's story is different. And not every lesbians

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the same. Not every gay person in the same

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. Not every straight person is the same and the

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clicks and the segregation kind of in my eyes,

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I just wish would stop and it would just be

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one big family. I mean, I guess that's

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like asking for peace and stuff for everyone to love

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each other. But it's really sad to be fighting

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right now, like we are for equality and for

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love, and then to watch people, even within

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the community say such hurtful things, right? Such

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hurtful things and and really make it I mean,

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even magazines like after Alan and Otto straddle and people

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had worked with for so many years, um just

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ripping me apart as a person uh for nothing more

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than I left my girlfriend and fell in love with

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a man. And I don't think that I'm the

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first person who's ever fallen in love with somebody while

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I'm with someone. I don't think I'm the first

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person that's ever broken up with someone, um or

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broken somebody's heart, whether you're gay or straight,

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you're gonna break someone's heart and you're gonna have a

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heart broken, It is what it is, and

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you follow your heart and you do your best to

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figure out who you're supposed to be with and where

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you're supposed to be. And I just happened to

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put myself out there and have a camera following that

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journey. And it opened up a lot of room

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for discussion and opinions and and people really wanted to

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give it to me, you know, I didn't

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deserve to be on the show. I used the

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show, I don't deserve to go to gay pride

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, um, things that don't make any sense when

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we are running around marching for gay rights right now

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. And I think that I have every right to

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attend any event that's fighting for equality and show that

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I am there and I support it and I believe

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in love. And I think that even just within

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schools or areas where it's not as accepted, just

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really being aware that even within that group to be

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accepting and that they are, people are different.

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Everybody is, everybody is different. Every there's not

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a type of gay you can be or a type

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of straight you can be. And I think just

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being more aware that your friend might fall in love

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with an opposite sex or your friend might fall in

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love with the same sex or you might or somebody

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in your family might end. It's not for anyone

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to judge. I do come from a kind of

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diverse family just to begin with with my father and

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him being mexican and my brothers and my two moms

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and then my journey and me being, I guess

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I could say bisexual, but it just doesn't matter

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because I think when you're married, does it really

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matter what you call me? Like, I'm not

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going to be available anyway. So this is what

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it is. So that's kind of I've had the

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opportunity to come here and speak to you guys,

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which I'm so grateful that anybody even wanted to ask

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me any questions and work considering any of the topics

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that I had brought up on the show and not

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just overlooking them because I think they're important and not

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just for my story, but for anyone who's going

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through it. So that's kind of how I got

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here. That is the show and I'm opening up

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to having any questions I'm really open. So,

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if there's anything that you've seen or read or wanted

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to ask me about, I would love to answer

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any questions. Anyone silence. All right. Yes

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. Like you out why the word? Uh huh

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. Right. So I was wondering I my like

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battery. Mhm. Like Mhm. Within my Right

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. I think the difference. I was telling somebody

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earlier, it's just like when my parents were Together

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, my my mothers with a man now, so

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she was with a woman for 10 years and is

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now married to a man and very happy. Obviously

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, you can see how fluid it is in my

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family. There are no boundaries at all. Um

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but I think that there is an old school thinking

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and mindset to some of the community and the older

356
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generation still has so much of a kind of a

357
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like a wall up. Are there still boundaries that

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I don't think that our generation has as much because

359
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we've seen so so much happened and I think that

360
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a lot of that old school thinking doesn't need to

361
00:19:22.700 --> 00:19:26.950 A:middle L:90%
happen anymore isn't as relevant anymore. And there's a

362
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time where it's like when you were gay then it

363
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was very much a click and it was like the

364
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gay area and this is the gay place and this

365
00:19:33.970 --> 00:19:36.759 A:middle L:90%
is the gay thing and that's the straight and that's

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the lesbian and and everything was just separated. And

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I think that our parents, you know, like

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that's more of their generation and I think now as

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like the younger ones, it's important to just kind

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of let all of it become one and not be

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so separated and my I was telling someone really,

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I would love to see just kind of Everybody in

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one place celebrating all kinds of people not so separated

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. I think it's what hurts us the most,

375
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but I think it's different for our parents to see

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that because when they were growing up and whatever they

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were going through, it was a lot harder South

378
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. Mhm. Any other questions Yeah. When you

379
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were facing so much for you, what? Yeah

380
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. God, you know, it's hard, I

381
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have to say this just on a whole nother level

382
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which which is a good thing just like internet bullying

383
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which is happening so much whether it's a celebrity or

384
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somebody on tv or just a person that you know

385
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that your online verbally attacking. Um it's gotten out

386
00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:49.180 A:middle L:90%
of hand. I mean we all know that there's

387
00:20:49.190 --> 00:20:52.950 A:middle L:90%
suicides and and kids going through this every day and

388
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elementary to high school to college is and not even

389
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on the topics of being gay. You know,

390
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just people really finding so much like confidence behind their

391
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computers and just really being verbal and attacking and like

392
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I just did not expect it. I didn't know

393
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it was gonna happen. I thought I would be

394
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able to follow my heart. I wasn't gonna not

395
00:21:15.490 --> 00:21:17.369 A:middle L:90%
fall in love with my husband because I was on

396
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the real L. Word. I mean I guess

397
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I was filming the show. Yes, I had

398
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been for three years, but my heart was somewhere

399
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. And regardless of the cameras were there, regardless

400
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of what I was supposed to be for this show

401
00:21:29.640 --> 00:21:32.759 A:middle L:90%
, I was falling in love with someone and I'm

402
00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:34.000 A:middle L:90%
gonna be with him forever. Where's the show show's

403
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:37.079 A:middle L:90%
over? So I needed to follow my heart and

404
00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:40.269 A:middle L:90%
by doing that, you know, I opened up

405
00:21:41.400 --> 00:21:44.819 A:middle L:90%
that can where everybody went online. I mean,

406
00:21:44.819 --> 00:21:48.059 A:middle L:90%
there were times that even with my brothers who were

407
00:21:48.059 --> 00:21:48.990 A:middle L:90%
affected from Agent Orange, my father where somebody was

408
00:21:48.990 --> 00:21:52.059 A:middle L:90%
like Agent Orange taste so good, Like they were

409
00:21:52.059 --> 00:21:56.269 A:middle L:90%
just directly going after my family, Just anything to

410
00:21:56.269 --> 00:21:59.710 A:middle L:90%
hurt me and telling me that I was a slut

411
00:21:59.710 --> 00:22:03.769 A:middle L:90%
or a horror and use the show and just things

412
00:22:03.769 --> 00:22:07.430 A:middle L:90%
that you just don't expect to have to hear on

413
00:22:07.430 --> 00:22:10.569 A:middle L:90%
a public level. Like it's one thing for someone

414
00:22:10.569 --> 00:22:11.890 A:middle L:90%
to dislike you in person, it's another thing to

415
00:22:11.890 --> 00:22:15.230 A:middle L:90%
have half of the community that's been behind you and

416
00:22:15.230 --> 00:22:18.670 A:middle L:90%
that you that I was actively involved with and a

417
00:22:18.670 --> 00:22:22.529 A:middle L:90%
part of just attacking me every single day. I

418
00:22:22.529 --> 00:22:25.769 A:middle L:90%
mean I couldn't open my facebook or twitter or any

419
00:22:25.769 --> 00:22:26.170 A:middle L:90%
social media, I had to stop for a minute

420
00:22:26.170 --> 00:22:30.160 A:middle L:90%
because it was so many negative opinions and I was

421
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:32.910 A:middle L:90%
telling some of the girls earlier, my husband would

422
00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:33.869 A:middle L:90%
look at me, he was like, just don't

423
00:22:33.869 --> 00:22:34.740 A:middle L:90%
open it, just don't read it and I want

424
00:22:34.740 --> 00:22:37.069 A:middle L:90%
to like argue back and like, like you don't

425
00:22:37.069 --> 00:22:38.980 A:middle L:90%
know me, you don't understand this isn't fair.

426
00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:41.369 A:middle L:90%
And I'd be like, I can't believe this person

427
00:22:41.369 --> 00:22:44.019 A:middle L:90%
said that, and he's like, just you can't

428
00:22:44.019 --> 00:22:45.549 A:middle L:90%
change the minds of all these people. The best

429
00:22:45.549 --> 00:22:48.319 A:middle L:90%
thing that I can do or anyone can do is

430
00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:49.910 A:middle L:90%
just to be yourself and follow your heart and be

431
00:22:49.910 --> 00:22:53.240 A:middle L:90%
true to yourself. And if it doesn't please everybody

432
00:22:53.250 --> 00:22:56.920 A:middle L:90%
, it's not you can't do anything about it and

433
00:22:56.920 --> 00:22:59.609 A:middle L:90%
you have to just know who you are and be

434
00:22:59.609 --> 00:23:02.309 A:middle L:90%
secure. And I still show up to events today

435
00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:03.990 A:middle L:90%
where I know people are looking and saying things and

436
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.750 A:middle L:90%
have their opinions and I smile and I just continue

437
00:23:07.750 --> 00:23:10.890 A:middle L:90%
on with my life. But I mean even if

438
00:23:10.890 --> 00:23:11.430 A:middle L:90%
it's not me and it's somebody that you do have

439
00:23:11.430 --> 00:23:15.950 A:middle L:90%
an opinion of getting online and attacking somebody is just

440
00:23:17.539 --> 00:23:19.480 A:middle L:90%
so childish and so hurtful and you don't know people's

441
00:23:19.480 --> 00:23:22.359 A:middle L:90%
lives, you don't know their hearts and you don't

442
00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:26.119 A:middle L:90%
know what they're going through. So I just I'm

443
00:23:26.119 --> 00:23:30.549 A:middle L:90%
not I'm not for it. Obviously any other questions

444
00:23:33.140 --> 00:23:41.390 A:middle L:90%
. Yeah, yeah. Oh, talk a little

445
00:23:41.390 --> 00:23:45.309 A:middle L:90%
bit about I think, and what that means to

446
00:23:45.309 --> 00:23:49.460 A:middle L:90%
you in terms of your multibreeder and also in terms

447
00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:52.559 A:middle L:90%
your sexuality, What kind of privilege you gain,

448
00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:56.980 A:middle L:90%
how it might be perceived as Yeah. From moving

449
00:23:56.980 --> 00:24:00.960 A:middle L:90%
from early, sure for the man and how that's

450
00:24:02.339 --> 00:24:03.289 A:middle L:90%
see what it is in the you say you kind

451
00:24:03.289 --> 00:24:06.920 A:middle L:90%
of touched on that. Yeah. Has it been

452
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:10.480 A:middle L:90%
received? Yeah. Not, not received. Well

453
00:24:10.490 --> 00:24:11.980 A:middle L:90%
, I mean, I don't care. I mean

454
00:24:11.990 --> 00:24:15.420 A:middle L:90%
my hurts, it hurts that people are cruel to

455
00:24:15.420 --> 00:24:18.369 A:middle L:90%
my husband. It hurts that he had to take

456
00:24:18.369 --> 00:24:22.309 A:middle L:90%
such a beating for doing absolutely nothing. Um he

457
00:24:22.309 --> 00:24:26.259 A:middle L:90%
believes in equality. He's all for gay rights.

458
00:24:26.259 --> 00:24:27.690 A:middle L:90%
He wants to hang out and love and be a

459
00:24:27.690 --> 00:24:30.759 A:middle L:90%
part of it. And it's just you see a

460
00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:32.170 A:middle L:90%
man, it's hard to get a guy like that

461
00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:33.529 A:middle L:90%
who's so open and comfortable and then he walks into

462
00:24:33.529 --> 00:24:37.640 A:middle L:90%
an event and people are just glaring at him and

463
00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:41.670 A:middle L:90%
making him feel unwelcomed. And I take that personally

464
00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:45.829 A:middle L:90%
. And so it's like why? Why? I

465
00:24:45.829 --> 00:24:47.559 A:middle L:90%
mean he looks at me like they're really mean.

466
00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:49.269 A:middle L:90%
I'm like they can be, it's their opinions,

467
00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:52.460 A:middle L:90%
they're voicing it, they're making it very clear but

468
00:24:52.940 --> 00:24:56.559 A:middle L:90%
there should be men and straight people and everybody,

469
00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:59.450 A:middle L:90%
like I said that come together, it was not

470
00:24:59.450 --> 00:25:03.039 A:middle L:90%
received well and I think that we say L.

471
00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:03.470 A:middle L:90%
G. B. T. Q. We we

472
00:25:03.470 --> 00:25:07.740 A:middle L:90%
claim that were this group and then it ends up

473
00:25:07.740 --> 00:25:11.420 A:middle L:90%
being lesbian are gay. And where is the in

474
00:25:11.420 --> 00:25:14.250 A:middle L:90%
between? Where is the queer? Where is the

475
00:25:14.250 --> 00:25:15.880 A:middle L:90%
people that are confused? Where the people that are

476
00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:17.769 A:middle L:90%
still figuring it out? Where do they go?

477
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:19.460 A:middle L:90%
What kind of love and what kind of place are

478
00:25:19.460 --> 00:25:25.170 A:middle L:90%
we giving anybody who's not sure what they are?

479
00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:27.109 A:middle L:90%
And it doesn't send a very good message. If

480
00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:30.710 A:middle L:90%
somebody who's publicly kind of confused and figuring out and

481
00:25:30.710 --> 00:25:33.099 A:middle L:90%
not confused in a bad way, it doesn't have

482
00:25:33.099 --> 00:25:34.849 A:middle L:90%
to be a bad way. But searching for who

483
00:25:34.849 --> 00:25:37.480 A:middle L:90%
and what person is best for them, whether the

484
00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:40.819 A:middle L:90%
man or woman, if I can't come to my

485
00:25:40.819 --> 00:25:41.670 A:middle L:90%
community for love and support, where do you think

486
00:25:41.670 --> 00:25:45.529 A:middle L:90%
everybody who's watching, who watches the show and sees

487
00:25:45.529 --> 00:25:47.029 A:middle L:90%
how it's happened to me? What girl in school

488
00:25:47.029 --> 00:25:49.009 A:middle L:90%
is gonna want to come out to her friends and

489
00:25:49.009 --> 00:25:51.660 A:middle L:90%
say, oh I might have fallen in love with

490
00:25:51.660 --> 00:25:52.309 A:middle L:90%
a man, I might have fallen in love with

491
00:25:52.309 --> 00:25:56.650 A:middle L:90%
a woman. They obviously can see with the way

492
00:25:56.650 --> 00:25:59.559 A:middle L:90%
that it's gone on television. It wasn't it wasn't

493
00:25:59.569 --> 00:26:00.990 A:middle L:90%
well received and I don't think it sends a good

494
00:26:00.990 --> 00:26:03.490 A:middle L:90%
message. I think that even the girls on the

495
00:26:03.490 --> 00:26:06.789 A:middle L:90%
show had a responsibility and whatever they decide to do

496
00:26:06.789 --> 00:26:08.140 A:middle L:90%
it for them, but to show you might not

497
00:26:08.140 --> 00:26:11.180 A:middle L:90%
like me personally as a person, that's one thing

498
00:26:11.190 --> 00:26:14.240 A:middle L:90%
, but to be very vocal about it being because

499
00:26:14.240 --> 00:26:17.559 A:middle L:90%
I'm with a man is sending the wrong message.

500
00:26:18.539 --> 00:26:19.700 A:middle L:90%
So I think that there's a lot of work still

501
00:26:19.700 --> 00:26:23.829 A:middle L:90%
to be done. Mhm. What do you make

502
00:26:23.829 --> 00:26:26.539 A:middle L:90%
of that? Are you cognizant of the privilege you

503
00:26:26.539 --> 00:26:30.480 A:middle L:90%
paint by being in a really, you know,

504
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:41.130 A:middle L:90%
you identify, hmm, No. You know,

505
00:26:41.130 --> 00:26:47.170 A:middle L:90%
you're throughout what, especially at Oh. Mhm.

506
00:26:48.339 --> 00:26:51.789 A:middle L:90%
Right. Does that help you want that understanding how

507
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:56.039 A:middle L:90%
that's triggering? I think people are afraid of what

508
00:26:56.039 --> 00:26:57.059 A:middle L:90%
they don't know. I mean we all know that

509
00:26:57.059 --> 00:27:00.430 A:middle L:90%
people are afraid of what they don't understand. Um

510
00:27:00.430 --> 00:27:03.019 A:middle L:90%
that's why we gather our friends because they're like us

511
00:27:03.029 --> 00:27:03.769 A:middle L:90%
, we make groups because they're like us, it

512
00:27:03.769 --> 00:27:07.509 A:middle L:90%
makes us feel safe. You don't have to understand

513
00:27:07.509 --> 00:27:10.319 A:middle L:90%
why somebody is doing what they're doing if they're not

514
00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:11.559 A:middle L:90%
hurting you and they're not hurting anyone, and they're

515
00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:15.930 A:middle L:90%
not hurting themselves, it's not for everybody to understand

516
00:27:15.930 --> 00:27:18.660 A:middle L:90%
. And I think what I took from it was

517
00:27:18.660 --> 00:27:22.170 A:middle L:90%
that I found that I can love a woman,

518
00:27:22.740 --> 00:27:23.400 A:middle L:90%
I could have a relationship with a woman, I

519
00:27:23.400 --> 00:27:26.789 A:middle L:90%
can find that person and fall in love with them

520
00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:27.900 A:middle L:90%
. And I think for a while there, I

521
00:27:27.900 --> 00:27:30.990 A:middle L:90%
closed myself off to the ability of loving men because

522
00:27:30.990 --> 00:27:34.319 A:middle L:90%
I was so much a part of this lesbian group

523
00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:36.990 A:middle L:90%
, and that just was such a bad thing to

524
00:27:36.990 --> 00:27:38.589 A:middle L:90%
do that. You just we're lesbians, jeremy roar

525
00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:41.799 A:middle L:90%
, you know, So I just didn't even think

526
00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:44.829 A:middle L:90%
of it. And then when it started to really

527
00:27:44.829 --> 00:27:47.819 A:middle L:90%
kind of be inside me that I was not exploring

528
00:27:47.829 --> 00:27:51.440 A:middle L:90%
, not being true to myself, not giving myself

529
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:53.069 A:middle L:90%
the opportunity to kind of go anywhere if I did

530
00:27:53.069 --> 00:27:56.170 A:middle L:90%
have feelings for the opposite sex, you know,

531
00:27:56.940 --> 00:27:57.809 A:middle L:90%
and I just decided to go with it, whether

532
00:27:57.809 --> 00:28:02.119 A:middle L:90%
people understood it or not, I wasn't afraid of

533
00:28:02.130 --> 00:28:03.720 A:middle L:90%
going there, and I wasn't ashamed of going there

534
00:28:04.140 --> 00:28:07.509 A:middle L:90%
. I think I was really blessed to have been

535
00:28:07.509 --> 00:28:11.599 A:middle L:90%
raised in a family that was so loving and so

536
00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:12.779 A:middle L:90%
open and I know that that is not the same

537
00:28:12.789 --> 00:28:17.059 A:middle L:90%
case for most people and that I'm very fortunate that

538
00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:21.759 A:middle L:90%
my family just really preach, just love whoever you

539
00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:22.730 A:middle L:90%
want to love, you can bring home anyone as

540
00:28:22.730 --> 00:28:26.029 A:middle L:90%
long as they're a good person and they love you

541
00:28:26.029 --> 00:28:27.750 A:middle L:90%
and you love them. And I know a lot

542
00:28:27.750 --> 00:28:32.089 A:middle L:90%
of people don't have that same experience, but I

543
00:28:32.089 --> 00:28:34.609 A:middle L:90%
think I just benefited from the fact that I opened

544
00:28:34.609 --> 00:28:37.880 A:middle L:90%
my heart up and that's not for everybody. I'm

545
00:28:37.880 --> 00:28:38.670 A:middle L:90%
not saying that it is, but I opened my

546
00:28:38.670 --> 00:28:44.730 A:middle L:90%
heart up to people before I got married before I

547
00:28:44.730 --> 00:28:47.400 A:middle L:90%
decided to settle down. It was the world was

548
00:28:47.410 --> 00:28:49.319 A:middle L:90%
mine. And I was allowed to all in love

549
00:28:49.319 --> 00:28:52.920 A:middle L:90%
with whoever I wanted without anyone telling me I was

550
00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:59.029 A:middle L:90%
breaking any rules. So I feel fortunate that I'm

551
00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:00.410 A:middle L:90%
I've had that opportunity and I've been able to love

552
00:29:00.410 --> 00:29:03.000 A:middle L:90%
women and I've been able to love my husband,

553
00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:07.799 A:middle L:90%
but that's not everyone's story. Some women don't want

554
00:29:07.799 --> 00:29:10.000 A:middle L:90%
to love men, some men don't want to love

555
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:15.660 A:middle L:90%
women and that's completely okay. So that any other

556
00:29:15.660 --> 00:29:26.670 A:middle L:90%
questions. Yeah. So as far as Mhm.

557
00:29:27.619 --> 00:29:36.599 A:middle L:90%
Now uh grow up considering yourself like I did,

558
00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:37.349 A:middle L:90%
there was a part of me, my father,

559
00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:40.500 A:middle L:90%
he was, you know, my mom ended up

560
00:29:40.500 --> 00:29:45.359 A:middle L:90%
marrying my stepmother who was very wealthy and very much

561
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:48.890 A:middle L:90%
in the great Pasadena kind of area and my father

562
00:29:48.890 --> 00:29:53.089 A:middle L:90%
was from downtown and from more poverty and Mexican family

563
00:29:53.089 --> 00:29:56.460 A:middle L:90%
. And so I had these two very extreme Holmes

564
00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:00.769 A:middle L:90%
. Um he didn't feel very welcomed once we kind

565
00:30:00.769 --> 00:30:03.930 A:middle L:90%
of moved to Pasadena and had this lifestyle, he

566
00:30:03.930 --> 00:30:06.430 A:middle L:90%
felt ashamed, I think that he was mexican.

567
00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:08.490 A:middle L:90%
Um he was always trying to be the one in

568
00:30:08.490 --> 00:30:11.690 A:middle L:90%
his family to start a business, He didn't have

569
00:30:11.690 --> 00:30:15.119 A:middle L:90%
an education um always coming up with ideas, always

570
00:30:15.119 --> 00:30:17.549 A:middle L:90%
trying to start something for himself and any money he

571
00:30:17.549 --> 00:30:18.430 A:middle L:90%
made, he send it to his family, you

572
00:30:18.430 --> 00:30:21.299 A:middle L:90%
know, and help them out, but it was

573
00:30:21.299 --> 00:30:22.269 A:middle L:90%
almost like he felt like he wasn't going to be

574
00:30:22.269 --> 00:30:26.019 A:middle L:90%
accepted and it's an old school way of thinking for

575
00:30:26.029 --> 00:30:30.069 A:middle L:90%
a mexican man at the time, but it was

576
00:30:30.069 --> 00:30:30.779 A:middle L:90%
like he wasn't gonna be accepted for the job or

577
00:30:30.779 --> 00:30:33.500 A:middle L:90%
he wasn't gonna like he would ask my mom when

578
00:30:33.500 --> 00:30:34.109 A:middle L:90%
they were together to show up with him for like

579
00:30:34.109 --> 00:30:37.410 A:middle L:90%
job interviews because she was like a blonde woman and

580
00:30:37.410 --> 00:30:38.690 A:middle L:90%
he thought it might help him get the job or

581
00:30:38.690 --> 00:30:41.099 A:middle L:90%
they'd respect him a little bit more, you know

582
00:30:41.109 --> 00:30:44.769 A:middle L:90%
, they saw her on his arms and he would

583
00:30:44.769 --> 00:30:45.920 A:middle L:90%
speak spanish to my family and he would not teach

584
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:48.250 A:middle L:90%
me, he did not want me to grow up

585
00:30:48.250 --> 00:30:52.059 A:middle L:90%
like that. It's kind of sad because I would

586
00:30:52.059 --> 00:30:53.839 A:middle L:90%
have loved to have known that part of me,

587
00:30:53.849 --> 00:30:56.150 A:middle L:90%
I would have loved to have spent time with my

588
00:30:56.150 --> 00:30:56.390 A:middle L:90%
family, I would have loved to have been able

589
00:30:56.390 --> 00:31:00.170 A:middle L:90%
to speak spanish and have that, you know,

590
00:31:00.539 --> 00:31:02.859 A:middle L:90%
amazing culture, be a part of me and he

591
00:31:02.859 --> 00:31:03.769 A:middle L:90%
kind of in a sense deprived me of it,

592
00:31:03.779 --> 00:31:07.309 A:middle L:90%
but it was for his own personal reasons which is

593
00:31:07.309 --> 00:31:10.240 A:middle L:90%
so sad to feel like you have to be ashamed

594
00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:14.930 A:middle L:90%
of and it's what unfortunately did not let my dad

595
00:31:14.930 --> 00:31:17.880 A:middle L:90%
succeed in life. I mean he was passed away

596
00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:22.349 A:middle L:90%
from cancer about five years ago and I watched him

597
00:31:22.349 --> 00:31:26.900 A:middle L:90%
work until the day he died like just struggling till

598
00:31:26.900 --> 00:31:27.420 A:middle L:90%
the day he died. He wasn't able to kind

599
00:31:27.420 --> 00:31:32.130 A:middle L:90%
of take any time and rest. He didn't have

600
00:31:32.130 --> 00:31:33.990 A:middle L:90%
that backing. And it was because he kind of

601
00:31:33.990 --> 00:31:37.200 A:middle L:90%
held himself back by not being him by constantly trying

602
00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:40.930 A:middle L:90%
to be something that he wasn't or being ashamed of

603
00:31:40.930 --> 00:31:42.640 A:middle L:90%
who he was. And it kind of broke my

604
00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:47.049 A:middle L:90%
heart to see that happened with somebody to feel like

605
00:31:47.059 --> 00:31:49.769 A:middle L:90%
just because of your race you weren't gonna succeed as

606
00:31:49.769 --> 00:31:52.140 A:middle L:90%
well, you know, and it holds you back

607
00:31:52.140 --> 00:31:55.269 A:middle L:90%
, you have to just own who you are.

608
00:31:56.740 --> 00:32:05.220 A:middle L:90%
Yeah the demographics white. I have sometimes the family

609
00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:07.069 A:middle L:90%
with the two special needs, the mexican daughter and

610
00:32:07.069 --> 00:32:09.769 A:middle L:90%
the two moms, very white neighborhood. So like

611
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:16.980 A:middle L:90%
yeah there was a time when I like actually got

612
00:32:16.980 --> 00:32:20.039 A:middle L:90%
it because I grew up with my mom and my

613
00:32:20.039 --> 00:32:22.690 A:middle L:90%
all my cousins and very very family oriented white family

614
00:32:22.700 --> 00:32:24.849 A:middle L:90%
and then as I got older as like there is

615
00:32:24.849 --> 00:32:27.720 A:middle L:90%
a part of me that's like missing here that I

616
00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:30.470 A:middle L:90%
haven't really explored. I am mexican. My last

617
00:32:30.470 --> 00:32:32.500 A:middle L:90%
name is Garcia. Okay my father is not a

618
00:32:32.500 --> 00:32:36.130 A:middle L:90%
mexican. So I think that there was a part

619
00:32:36.130 --> 00:32:38.509 A:middle L:90%
that was like man this has really been pushed aside

620
00:32:38.519 --> 00:32:42.039 A:middle L:90%
. I need to I need to figure out who

621
00:32:42.039 --> 00:32:43.640 A:middle L:90%
that person is and what that part is. And

622
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:45.470 A:middle L:90%
I was speaking to you earlier and you were telling

623
00:32:45.470 --> 00:32:46.650 A:middle L:90%
me how you went and you got to visit some

624
00:32:46.650 --> 00:32:50.410 A:middle L:90%
of your dad's family and get to know kind of

625
00:32:50.410 --> 00:32:51.990 A:middle L:90%
where you come from and I think it's important.

626
00:32:51.990 --> 00:32:53.970 A:middle L:90%
I think it's definitely the next step in my life

627
00:32:53.980 --> 00:32:55.769 A:middle L:90%
to really go spend some time with them and get

628
00:32:55.769 --> 00:32:58.740 A:middle L:90%
to know that part of me, and I think

629
00:32:58.740 --> 00:33:01.049 A:middle L:90%
it would be important to him because my father loved

630
00:33:01.049 --> 00:33:04.029 A:middle L:90%
his family and his culture, he just was ashamed

631
00:33:04.029 --> 00:33:05.759 A:middle L:90%
of it. And then when you grow up in

632
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:09.970 A:middle L:90%
a white neighborhood like I did and very it's just

633
00:33:09.980 --> 00:33:14.269 A:middle L:90%
you don't even want to talk about it. So

634
00:33:14.740 --> 00:33:15.170 A:middle L:90%
I think the more you get secure with who you

635
00:33:15.170 --> 00:33:19.380 A:middle L:90%
are, and as I got older and as I

636
00:33:19.390 --> 00:33:21.480 A:middle L:90%
had so many people judging me all the time,

637
00:33:21.480 --> 00:33:22.619 A:middle L:90%
I think I just finally got to a place in

638
00:33:22.619 --> 00:33:23.450 A:middle L:90%
my life where I was like, I just don't

639
00:33:23.450 --> 00:33:28.069 A:middle L:90%
care what your opinion is anymore and this is my

640
00:33:28.069 --> 00:33:30.509 A:middle L:90%
life and this is my journey and I'm allowed to

641
00:33:30.509 --> 00:33:32.890 A:middle L:90%
explore and use my time on earth to figure out

642
00:33:32.890 --> 00:33:36.950 A:middle L:90%
whatever it is I need to do. Yeah,

643
00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:49.170 A:middle L:90%
anybody else? Yeah. Yeah, it's here on

644
00:33:49.180 --> 00:33:57.170 A:middle L:90%
a highlight present day media. Mhm. Oh boy

645
00:33:57.180 --> 00:34:00.460 A:middle L:90%
. You don't want to hear my opinion. Um

646
00:34:00.470 --> 00:34:05.480 A:middle L:90%
The show the first season of the real L.

647
00:34:05.480 --> 00:34:07.059 A:middle L:90%
Word. I think the first season of any reality

648
00:34:07.059 --> 00:34:08.690 A:middle L:90%
show, if you're not a celebrity, like already

649
00:34:08.690 --> 00:34:10.780 A:middle L:90%
a celebrity that goes into having a reality show where

650
00:34:10.789 --> 00:34:13.880 A:middle L:90%
it's just media and they're just kind of funding your

651
00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:16.849 A:middle L:90%
career by following your life. Our show was a

652
00:34:16.849 --> 00:34:20.570 A:middle L:90%
bunch of girls in L. A. Um that

653
00:34:20.570 --> 00:34:22.010 A:middle L:90%
we're lesbians, that we're just really active in the

654
00:34:22.010 --> 00:34:23.300 A:middle L:90%
scene in L. A. Because that's what the

655
00:34:23.300 --> 00:34:24.869 A:middle L:90%
original L. Word was and that's what they were

656
00:34:24.869 --> 00:34:28.230 A:middle L:90%
kind of trying to follow. So they did a

657
00:34:28.230 --> 00:34:30.489 A:middle L:90%
casting call and they casted who they thought would be

658
00:34:30.489 --> 00:34:34.639 A:middle L:90%
the best personalities for the show. Um I was

659
00:34:34.639 --> 00:34:37.429 A:middle L:90%
running lesbian parties at the time and obviously was a

660
00:34:37.429 --> 00:34:39.650 A:middle L:90%
drunken mess that time in my life. So that

661
00:34:39.650 --> 00:34:44.760 A:middle L:90%
was my scene. Whitney had auditioned for the show

662
00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:46.659 A:middle L:90%
, sorry, and then she was casted for the

663
00:34:46.659 --> 00:34:51.880 A:middle L:90%
show. We met right before filming. I remember

664
00:34:51.880 --> 00:34:53.880 A:middle L:90%
her telling me there's a camera crew coming into my

665
00:34:53.880 --> 00:34:57.579 A:middle L:90%
life in about a month. I'm on some show

666
00:34:57.590 --> 00:35:00.639 A:middle L:90%
and I was just like, okay, whatever.

667
00:35:00.650 --> 00:35:01.980 A:middle L:90%
And then when the camera really showed up, it

668
00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:05.610 A:middle L:90%
was like, oh, this is real, there

669
00:35:05.610 --> 00:35:07.869 A:middle L:90%
is a camera crew, you are really didn't know

670
00:35:07.869 --> 00:35:09.809 A:middle L:90%
what was going on. I wasn't and I was

671
00:35:09.809 --> 00:35:12.590 A:middle L:90%
so in love with her at that moment, in

672
00:35:12.590 --> 00:35:15.090 A:middle L:90%
my bliss of drunken lesbian love that I thought it

673
00:35:15.090 --> 00:35:17.320 A:middle L:90%
doesn't matter that there's a camera. It well,

674
00:35:17.320 --> 00:35:21.309 A:middle L:90%
it does matter. And I learned very quickly and

675
00:35:21.309 --> 00:35:23.340 A:middle L:90%
the hard way. Um I kind of ran from

676
00:35:23.340 --> 00:35:25.519 A:middle L:90%
the cameras for the first month and didn't want to

677
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:29.460 A:middle L:90%
be on. Just kept running and crying and trying

678
00:35:29.469 --> 00:35:31.309 A:middle L:90%
, this is my love and you can't follow it

679
00:35:31.739 --> 00:35:35.639 A:middle L:90%
. And finally, one day at my work um

680
00:35:35.650 --> 00:35:37.070 A:middle L:90%
my boss, it was so funny because I had

681
00:35:37.070 --> 00:35:39.320 A:middle L:90%
been running from the cameras for a few weeks when

682
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:42.949 A:middle L:90%
we started filming and refusing to sign my paperwork and

683
00:35:42.949 --> 00:35:45.030 A:middle L:90%
I just started a job as a makeup artist that

684
00:35:45.030 --> 00:35:46.599 A:middle L:90%
Planet Salon and my boss comes to me one morning

685
00:35:46.599 --> 00:35:50.210 A:middle L:90%
and says we're filming a show today, it's called

686
00:35:50.210 --> 00:35:51.559 A:middle L:90%
the L Word, you're doing one of the girls

687
00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:53.789 A:middle L:90%
makeups and I was like, and she's like,

688
00:35:53.789 --> 00:35:55.840 A:middle L:90%
say you need to sign. And I was like

689
00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:58.480 A:middle L:90%
, well that's my new job. I'm not gonna

690
00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:00.219 A:middle L:90%
say no, it's on the show doing another characters

691
00:36:00.219 --> 00:36:02.349 A:middle L:90%
makeup of the show that I've been running from.

692
00:36:04.630 --> 00:36:08.110 A:middle L:90%
Sure enough, I signed that paperwork and it all

693
00:36:08.110 --> 00:36:13.110 A:middle L:90%
happened. So I gave in and decided to go

694
00:36:13.110 --> 00:36:15.119 A:middle L:90%
with it and stop running from it. They ended

695
00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:17.190 A:middle L:90%
up filming at so many of the clubs I was

696
00:36:17.190 --> 00:36:20.059 A:middle L:90%
at our bars I was at and people that were

697
00:36:20.059 --> 00:36:21.900 A:middle L:90%
in my life that you couldn't really avoid it at

698
00:36:21.900 --> 00:36:22.739 A:middle L:90%
that time, you were going to run into them

699
00:36:23.929 --> 00:36:25.510 A:middle L:90%
. So to answer your story, the first,

700
00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:29.050 A:middle L:90%
the first year was a little bit more organic and

701
00:36:29.050 --> 00:36:30.980 A:middle L:90%
very much like raw emotion happening and people just figuring

702
00:36:30.980 --> 00:36:36.130 A:middle L:90%
it out the second year after a horrible incident on

703
00:36:36.130 --> 00:36:38.469 A:middle L:90%
the first season being drunk and with the sexual stuff

704
00:36:38.469 --> 00:36:42.840 A:middle L:90%
that went on on showtime, um I realized that

705
00:36:43.309 --> 00:36:45.739 A:middle L:90%
I had a drinking problem. I was blacking out

706
00:36:45.739 --> 00:36:47.119 A:middle L:90%
at the time and I didn't think that it was

707
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:51.730 A:middle L:90%
the best time to have a camera follow my life

708
00:36:51.739 --> 00:36:52.849 A:middle L:90%
. I didn't want that to be who I was

709
00:36:53.429 --> 00:36:55.710 A:middle L:90%
. So I told them that I was going to

710
00:36:55.710 --> 00:37:00.449 A:middle L:90%
get sober and they were allowed to follow that,

711
00:37:00.460 --> 00:37:01.750 A:middle L:90%
but they weren't going to get the drunk girl,

712
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:05.460 A:middle L:90%
it just wasn't going to happen. So they agreed

713
00:37:05.829 --> 00:37:08.719 A:middle L:90%
that was fine because ultimately they want drama. They

714
00:37:08.719 --> 00:37:10.539 A:middle L:90%
want you to be drunk, they want you to

715
00:37:10.539 --> 00:37:14.739 A:middle L:90%
be crazy. So the second season was a little

716
00:37:14.739 --> 00:37:19.019 A:middle L:90%
bit more organic and then by the 3rd season it

717
00:37:19.030 --> 00:37:21.269 A:middle L:90%
could have won an Emmy. I mean it was

718
00:37:21.269 --> 00:37:23.719 A:middle L:90%
just, it was You've been on the show for

719
00:37:23.719 --> 00:37:27.170 A:middle L:90%
three years, you know what to do? We're

720
00:37:27.170 --> 00:37:28.579 A:middle L:90%
gonna need you to do this, we're gonna need

721
00:37:28.579 --> 00:37:30.800 A:middle L:90%
you to do that. I know this happened months

722
00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:31.289 A:middle L:90%
ago, but we didn't catch it, so we're

723
00:37:31.289 --> 00:37:34.389 A:middle L:90%
gonna need you to do it today. So as

724
00:37:34.389 --> 00:37:37.260 A:middle L:90%
I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend, I'm reliving

725
00:37:37.260 --> 00:37:39.460 A:middle L:90%
a relationship with an ex at the same time and

726
00:37:39.460 --> 00:37:40.659 A:middle L:90%
one of them is fake and one of them is

727
00:37:40.659 --> 00:37:45.039 A:middle L:90%
real and then it's edited and you have two people

728
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:45.820 A:middle L:90%
have to realize that when you watch a show you

729
00:37:45.820 --> 00:37:50.409 A:middle L:90%
don't know that person, it is a television show

730
00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:52.900 A:middle L:90%
. You get parts of my story, you get

731
00:37:52.900 --> 00:37:53.909 A:middle L:90%
to understand bits of who I am or whoever it

732
00:37:53.909 --> 00:37:57.760 A:middle L:90%
is you're watching, you don't know them. So

733
00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:00.530 A:middle L:90%
to assume that you do or make judgment like you

734
00:38:00.530 --> 00:38:02.179 A:middle L:90%
do. Please take it as a television show for

735
00:38:02.179 --> 00:38:05.280 A:middle L:90%
entertainment, get what you get out of it.

736
00:38:05.289 --> 00:38:08.280 A:middle L:90%
I think it's amazing that Showtime put lesbians out there

737
00:38:08.280 --> 00:38:10.659 A:middle L:90%
and put love out there and put our storylines out

738
00:38:10.659 --> 00:38:14.000 A:middle L:90%
there because there were some really good stories to be

739
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:19.750 A:middle L:90%
told um that get lost in the drama of everything

740
00:38:20.289 --> 00:38:22.909 A:middle L:90%
. And I think that if people were just more

741
00:38:22.909 --> 00:38:23.780 A:middle L:90%
aware, especially people not from L. A.

742
00:38:23.780 --> 00:38:30.179 A:middle L:90%
That these shows are tv shows. So our show

743
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:32.869 A:middle L:90%
ended the third season this last year. I think

744
00:38:32.869 --> 00:38:35.849 A:middle L:90%
that they're going to continue and be going into like

745
00:38:35.849 --> 00:38:38.170 A:middle L:90%
smaller areas and filming real stories. And I think

746
00:38:38.170 --> 00:38:39.329 A:middle L:90%
it's going to go back to being a little more

747
00:38:39.329 --> 00:38:42.210 A:middle L:90%
organic and what it was supposed to be when it

748
00:38:42.219 --> 00:38:44.960 A:middle L:90%
first started which I respect. And I think it

749
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:46.110 A:middle L:90%
needs to I think there's a lot of stories out

750
00:38:46.110 --> 00:38:49.000 A:middle L:90%
there that need to be told. And I think

751
00:38:49.000 --> 00:38:52.260 A:middle L:90%
creating characters to try and emulate the original L.

752
00:38:52.260 --> 00:38:57.150 A:middle L:90%
Word is just tacky. So I'm happy it's over

753
00:38:57.519 --> 00:39:00.449 A:middle L:90%
and I'm grateful for the experience and I learned a

754
00:39:00.449 --> 00:39:05.340 A:middle L:90%
lot but definitely got my acting chops in there.

755
00:39:06.320 --> 00:39:12.739 A:middle L:90%
Yeah. What do you think about? I think

756
00:39:12.739 --> 00:39:15.489 A:middle L:90%
that in general people love to when it comes to

757
00:39:15.489 --> 00:39:16.650 A:middle L:90%
gay or lesbian anything. What is it sex?

758
00:39:17.619 --> 00:39:22.389 A:middle L:90%
And there's a relationship there there's love. There's a

759
00:39:22.389 --> 00:39:25.969 A:middle L:90%
relationship like everybody else and everyone's mind automatically goes to

760
00:39:25.980 --> 00:39:28.920 A:middle L:90%
sex, the bedroom. If it is the same

761
00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:30.659 A:middle L:90%
sex couple, that's what they're going to focus on

762
00:39:30.829 --> 00:39:34.559 A:middle L:90%
. And that is sad because there's so much more

763
00:39:34.559 --> 00:39:37.690 A:middle L:90%
to a relationship emotionally, especially in a same sex

764
00:39:37.690 --> 00:39:42.269 A:middle L:90%
relationship that can be told other than just wanting to

765
00:39:42.269 --> 00:39:43.300 A:middle L:90%
know what goes on in the bedroom. And I

766
00:39:43.300 --> 00:39:47.159 A:middle L:90%
think it's sad that they exposed so much of us

767
00:39:47.289 --> 00:39:51.250 A:middle L:90%
and that they continue to do that on television.

768
00:39:51.420 --> 00:39:53.239 A:middle L:90%
And I mean we all know sex sells, but

769
00:39:53.619 --> 00:39:57.070 A:middle L:90%
hopefully they get it right. And hopefully, I

770
00:39:57.070 --> 00:39:59.300 A:middle L:90%
mean you get more out of documentaries and movies.

771
00:39:59.309 --> 00:40:00.429 A:middle L:90%
I think when you're really telling a real story,

772
00:40:01.010 --> 00:40:04.139 A:middle L:90%
but I think that the media as we all know

773
00:40:05.409 --> 00:40:07.889 A:middle L:90%
is not out for your best interest at all.

774
00:40:07.900 --> 00:40:14.510 A:middle L:90%
So yeah, you just pick yourself up any other

775
00:40:14.510 --> 00:40:20.719 A:middle L:90%
questions. We've been so quiet. Yeah. Yeah

776
00:40:22.309 --> 00:40:22.929 A:middle L:90%
. Um, if you could go back in time

777
00:40:22.929 --> 00:40:27.280 A:middle L:90%
what advice would you give yourself? What? Good

778
00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:31.460 A:middle L:90%
Lord? So much advice. It's a good question

779
00:40:31.469 --> 00:40:36.280 A:middle L:90%
. Um Everyone asked me if I regret what I

780
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:37.440 A:middle L:90%
did on the show and if I regret my decisions

781
00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:39.920 A:middle L:90%
which is an obvious I don't I'm not saying this

782
00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:43.909 A:middle L:90%
to be cheesy but I don't regret my life.

783
00:40:43.920 --> 00:40:46.139 A:middle L:90%
Um I was growing up I'm still growing up I'm

784
00:40:46.139 --> 00:40:51.099 A:middle L:90%
still gonna make really bad decisions. Um I think

785
00:40:51.099 --> 00:40:52.889 A:middle L:90%
that the only thing that I wish I would have

786
00:40:52.889 --> 00:40:54.929 A:middle L:90%
known more going in was the story that you're trying

787
00:40:54.929 --> 00:40:58.739 A:middle L:90%
to tell will not be told to a reality show

788
00:40:59.510 --> 00:41:02.329 A:middle L:90%
. Don't allow people to expose you that way.

789
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:05.920 A:middle L:90%
I gave in a little bit too much with who

790
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.340 A:middle L:90%
I was just to get people off my back to

791
00:41:07.340 --> 00:41:09.019 A:middle L:90%
make a T. V. Show and it ended

792
00:41:09.019 --> 00:41:13.269 A:middle L:90%
up hurting me rather than helping me. Um And

793
00:41:13.269 --> 00:41:17.389 A:middle L:90%
I regret going along with things that weren't true so

794
00:41:17.389 --> 00:41:20.289 A:middle L:90%
that a real story could have been told are holding

795
00:41:20.289 --> 00:41:22.800 A:middle L:90%
back what the producers wanted because I was trying to

796
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:25.500 A:middle L:90%
help them and just didn't help anybody by doing it

797
00:41:25.510 --> 00:41:30.059 A:middle L:90%
. So I regret more production parts of it.

798
00:41:30.070 --> 00:41:32.690 A:middle L:90%
But going through what I went through on camera,

799
00:41:32.699 --> 00:41:36.480 A:middle L:90%
I have been places where it's helped people are girls

800
00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:37.500 A:middle L:90%
have come up to me and said you know I

801
00:41:37.500 --> 00:41:40.239 A:middle L:90%
have this problem where I'm bisexual or I'm bipolar and

802
00:41:40.239 --> 00:41:43.199 A:middle L:90%
I deal with this or my brothers or my family

803
00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:45.840 A:middle L:90%
or my dad and being able to meet people all

804
00:41:45.840 --> 00:41:49.250 A:middle L:90%
over the world and talk to them and help each

805
00:41:49.250 --> 00:41:50.719 A:middle L:90%
other and be there for them. Was like such

806
00:41:50.719 --> 00:41:53.920 A:middle L:90%
an incredible experience that I'm happy I was honest about

807
00:41:53.920 --> 00:41:57.329 A:middle L:90%
it because those are the people you do it for

808
00:41:57.710 --> 00:41:59.070 A:middle L:90%
. The ones that want to hate and get online

809
00:41:59.070 --> 00:42:00.920 A:middle L:90%
, I could care less about. So yeah,

810
00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:07.409 A:middle L:90%
any other questions. Yeah, Yeah. Um so

811
00:42:07.409 --> 00:42:10.900 A:middle L:90%
I was recently watching a video on post talking about

812
00:42:10.900 --> 00:42:15.289 A:middle L:90%
how the media is kind of creating this narrative of

813
00:42:15.289 --> 00:42:19.679 A:middle L:90%
what it means to be, Especially the particular video

814
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:22.530 A:middle L:90%
was talking about trans identity. But I was wondering

815
00:42:22.539 --> 00:42:24.820 A:middle L:90%
from your experience, kind of jumping off questions from

816
00:42:25.199 --> 00:42:28.630 A:middle L:90%
growing up here in terms of the show, how

817
00:42:28.630 --> 00:42:31.340 A:middle L:90%
much the creative the production and the people that were

818
00:42:31.340 --> 00:42:38.929 A:middle L:90%
behind the scenes, we're actually LGBTQ. But yeah

819
00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:43.820 A:middle L:90%
, in the broader Mhm. It's a good time

820
00:42:43.820 --> 00:42:45.469 A:middle L:90%
. They the camera crew and the people that were

821
00:42:45.469 --> 00:42:49.230 A:middle L:90%
filming the stories. Every person on the show had

822
00:42:49.230 --> 00:42:52.079 A:middle L:90%
their own crew to follow their story and tell their

823
00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:55.690 A:middle L:90%
story. And they were smart by putting lesbian Cruz

824
00:42:55.690 --> 00:42:59.230 A:middle L:90%
together for each person so that we felt comfortable So

825
00:42:59.230 --> 00:43:00.940 A:middle L:90%
that the people that were filming us, the people

826
00:43:00.940 --> 00:43:02.260 A:middle L:90%
that were with us were other lesbians. And it

827
00:43:02.260 --> 00:43:05.079 A:middle L:90%
made I mean, they're smart. What's gonna make

828
00:43:05.079 --> 00:43:07.610 A:middle L:90%
you most comfortable when you're spending every day with women

829
00:43:07.099 --> 00:43:09.480 A:middle L:90%
, when it comes to revealing things about yourself,

830
00:43:09.489 --> 00:43:14.690 A:middle L:90%
you just become you forget and that's very genius on

831
00:43:14.690 --> 00:43:16.940 A:middle L:90%
their part because you're not uncomfortable. You're not weirded

832
00:43:16.940 --> 00:43:19.400 A:middle L:90%
out by the fact that they're there with you every

833
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:22.510 A:middle L:90%
single day. Um The men within the company who

834
00:43:22.510 --> 00:43:28.510 A:middle L:90%
do the editing, who do the actual story are

835
00:43:28.510 --> 00:43:30.460 A:middle L:90%
straight men. So yes, you gave me a

836
00:43:30.460 --> 00:43:34.579 A:middle L:90%
lesbian crew to film and get me comfortable, but

837
00:43:34.579 --> 00:43:37.150 A:middle L:90%
the person who ends up editing it is not a

838
00:43:37.150 --> 00:43:42.110 A:middle L:90%
lesbian. Um, so the stories come out,

839
00:43:42.110 --> 00:43:44.989 A:middle L:90%
I don't know, I don't feel and maybe maybe

840
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:46.550 A:middle L:90%
this is just my opinion obviously, but I don't

841
00:43:46.550 --> 00:43:52.079 A:middle L:90%
feel like the show really represented what the community was

842
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:53.809 A:middle L:90%
and I don't think it really fought for any kind

843
00:43:53.809 --> 00:43:58.159 A:middle L:90%
of rights or love. I think that it told

844
00:43:58.159 --> 00:44:00.369 A:middle L:90%
some stories that are common, like coming out to

845
00:44:00.369 --> 00:44:04.300 A:middle L:90%
your parents being african american in the community massage and

846
00:44:04.300 --> 00:44:07.820 A:middle L:90%
Franny coming out and Whitney being the player who you

847
00:44:07.820 --> 00:44:09.349 A:middle L:90%
know, finds love everywhere and me being the crazy

848
00:44:09.349 --> 00:44:12.750 A:middle L:90%
girl that's obsessed and confused. Like I think they

849
00:44:12.750 --> 00:44:15.159 A:middle L:90%
created characters, but I don't think they really were

850
00:44:15.170 --> 00:44:22.389 A:middle L:90%
telling the story of bisexuality, transgender queer community and

851
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:24.159 A:middle L:90%
that still needs to be told and I think people

852
00:44:24.159 --> 00:44:27.219 A:middle L:90%
still want to see it. I think what you

853
00:44:27.219 --> 00:44:30.429 A:middle L:90%
got was an edited dramatic version of a bunch of

854
00:44:30.550 --> 00:44:37.099 A:middle L:90%
drunk lesbians. I do for your entertainment. So

855
00:44:37.590 --> 00:44:38.889 A:middle L:90%
actually, when we met earlier today in the comment

856
00:44:38.889 --> 00:44:43.159 A:middle L:90%
that I felt that for the first time when I

857
00:44:43.159 --> 00:44:47.309 A:middle L:90%
watched the show I would see non fetishized version.

858
00:44:51.389 --> 00:45:00.079 A:middle L:90%
Mhm. Actually, well, you saw intimacy.

859
00:45:00.079 --> 00:45:00.860 A:middle L:90%
I think in the sense that you you saw two

860
00:45:00.860 --> 00:45:05.440 A:middle L:90%
women having sex, but I don't necessarily know that

861
00:45:05.440 --> 00:45:07.880 A:middle L:90%
they showed intimacy. So I think that people were

862
00:45:07.880 --> 00:45:10.449 A:middle L:90%
surprised to see. And I think it was great

863
00:45:10.449 --> 00:45:14.130 A:middle L:90%
that they show men and women having sex on television

864
00:45:14.130 --> 00:45:15.019 A:middle L:90%
all the time and with all the HBO shows and

865
00:45:15.019 --> 00:45:16.630 A:middle L:90%
stuff. And it's very open. And I don't

866
00:45:16.630 --> 00:45:19.750 A:middle L:90%
think you can say we can't show women or men

867
00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.260 A:middle L:90%
. You can you should people should see that it's

868
00:45:22.260 --> 00:45:23.460 A:middle L:90%
real that we do make love, that it can

869
00:45:23.460 --> 00:45:24.949 A:middle L:90%
happen between the same sex. And I think it

870
00:45:24.949 --> 00:45:28.559 A:middle L:90%
opens people's eyes that it's not some crazy what are

871
00:45:28.559 --> 00:45:30.789 A:middle L:90%
they doing behind you know, behind the door.

872
00:45:30.800 --> 00:45:32.289 A:middle L:90%
And I think that was awesome. That I wasn't

873
00:45:32.289 --> 00:45:35.139 A:middle L:90%
a show that was able to do that. But

874
00:45:35.139 --> 00:45:37.289 A:middle L:90%
I think that there's a level of intimacy that still

875
00:45:37.289 --> 00:45:40.349 A:middle L:90%
wasn't told. I think it was too much concerned

876
00:45:40.349 --> 00:45:43.500 A:middle L:90%
about, oh, this is too women having sex

877
00:45:45.489 --> 00:45:52.719 A:middle L:90%
south. Any other questions? Yes. Yeah.

878
00:45:53.690 --> 00:46:07.409 A:middle L:90%
Like, Yeah. No. Mhm. You're Mhm

879
00:46:09.380 --> 00:46:20.590 A:middle L:90%
. Ready. Mhm. Yeah. Great. What

880
00:46:21.079 --> 00:46:23.920 A:middle L:90%
, what's coming down the line? You know,

881
00:46:23.929 --> 00:46:27.679 A:middle L:90%
when you get an opportunity to be on television like

882
00:46:27.679 --> 00:46:29.789 A:middle L:90%
I did and to have everyone tuning in, you

883
00:46:29.789 --> 00:46:30.690 A:middle L:90%
obviously, whether people want to say, oh,

884
00:46:30.690 --> 00:46:32.730 A:middle L:90%
your money hungry or fame hungry, whatever it is

885
00:46:32.739 --> 00:46:35.760 A:middle L:90%
, no one's stupid. If you have an opportunity

886
00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:37.190 A:middle L:90%
in your artistic to put your work out there,

887
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:39.969 A:middle L:90%
I would hope anybody would. You know, um

888
00:46:39.980 --> 00:46:43.349 A:middle L:90%
I'm very creative. I've always been my entire life

889
00:46:43.349 --> 00:46:45.309 A:middle L:90%
, I've been acting and singing and dancing since I

890
00:46:45.309 --> 00:46:50.989 A:middle L:90%
was a kid and always making things and just constantly

891
00:46:50.989 --> 00:46:52.469 A:middle L:90%
coming up with something new. So when I had

892
00:46:52.469 --> 00:46:55.119 A:middle L:90%
the chance to I've worked in fashion and beauty and

893
00:46:55.119 --> 00:46:57.730 A:middle L:90%
music my whole life, I was like well I'm

894
00:46:57.730 --> 00:46:59.590 A:middle L:90%
gonna I'm gonna follow this, I'm gonna do this

895
00:46:59.590 --> 00:47:01.179 A:middle L:90%
. And when I was getting sober, being creative

896
00:47:01.179 --> 00:47:04.360 A:middle L:90%
and creating businesses and working was like the best thing

897
00:47:04.360 --> 00:47:05.769 A:middle L:90%
I could have done for myself, it kept my

898
00:47:05.769 --> 00:47:08.260 A:middle L:90%
mind very focused and it kept me busy in an

899
00:47:08.260 --> 00:47:10.179 A:middle L:90%
area of my life that I needed to be busy

900
00:47:10.179 --> 00:47:13.719 A:middle L:90%
and not so much with the party. It saved

901
00:47:13.719 --> 00:47:15.869 A:middle L:90%
me honestly for quite a few years and turn my

902
00:47:15.869 --> 00:47:19.349 A:middle L:90%
life around just focusing on my work and my art

903
00:47:19.349 --> 00:47:21.929 A:middle L:90%
and who I am. Um I put it out

904
00:47:21.929 --> 00:47:22.679 A:middle L:90%
there, I do my blog, which is tender

905
00:47:22.679 --> 00:47:24.670 A:middle L:90%
Romy. I did a radio show this last year

906
00:47:24.670 --> 00:47:28.019 A:middle L:90%
which we just took a little break from. We'll

907
00:47:28.019 --> 00:47:30.590 A:middle L:90%
be coming back next year with Rose Garcia who is

908
00:47:30.590 --> 00:47:32.440 A:middle L:90%
on the show and it gave us a chance to

909
00:47:32.449 --> 00:47:36.780 A:middle L:90%
be us, produce it, right? It let

910
00:47:36.780 --> 00:47:38.219 A:middle L:90%
people in on who we are and not who the

911
00:47:38.219 --> 00:47:40.059 A:middle L:90%
show made us to be. And it just was

912
00:47:40.059 --> 00:47:44.039 A:middle L:90%
an hour show of kind of recapping what's going on

913
00:47:44.039 --> 00:47:45.579 A:middle L:90%
in pop culture and having fun with all of it

914
00:47:45.590 --> 00:47:49.380 A:middle L:90%
. Um A lot of the stuff that I was

915
00:47:49.380 --> 00:47:52.010 A:middle L:90%
doing kind of hit a wall because my audience and

916
00:47:52.010 --> 00:47:57.119 A:middle L:90%
the people that were following me were lesbians. So

917
00:47:57.119 --> 00:47:59.449 A:middle L:90%
when they decided that they weren't the biggest fans in

918
00:47:59.449 --> 00:48:00.789 A:middle L:90%
me, Well, there goes some of your work

919
00:48:01.369 --> 00:48:06.010 A:middle L:90%
. So I continue to work on what I love

920
00:48:06.010 --> 00:48:07.329 A:middle L:90%
to do. Either you accept it, you don't

921
00:48:07.329 --> 00:48:08.630 A:middle L:90%
accept it. You love it or you don't love

922
00:48:08.630 --> 00:48:10.869 A:middle L:90%
it. But I'm a creative person and anyone who's

923
00:48:10.869 --> 00:48:14.239 A:middle L:90%
creative is going to continue to do it regardless of

924
00:48:14.250 --> 00:48:19.260 A:middle L:90%
people are receiving it or not. So. All

925
00:48:19.260 --> 00:48:24.789 A:middle L:90%
right. right. Yeah. I've made so many

926
00:48:24.789 --> 00:48:29.199 A:middle L:90%
amazing friends from the show, korean KcR family to

927
00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:30.489 A:middle L:90%
me. Rose Garcia, who's from the first season

928
00:48:30.489 --> 00:48:34.070 A:middle L:90%
is one of my best friends and pretty much my

929
00:48:34.070 --> 00:48:37.389 A:middle L:90%
family at this point. Um, I'm so grateful

930
00:48:37.389 --> 00:48:38.900 A:middle L:90%
that I got these beautiful women in my life.

931
00:48:39.369 --> 00:48:43.400 A:middle L:90%
Um, there are a few that I don't speak

932
00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:45.800 A:middle L:90%
to and just because we were on a show together

933
00:48:45.800 --> 00:48:49.079 A:middle L:90%
doesn't mean that we get along or that we want

934
00:48:49.079 --> 00:48:50.530 A:middle L:90%
to be friends and I think we're all adults and

935
00:48:50.530 --> 00:48:52.000 A:middle L:90%
can decide what people you want in your life.

936
00:48:52.369 --> 00:48:53.829 A:middle L:90%
So when the show ended, you just go your

937
00:48:53.829 --> 00:48:57.849 A:middle L:90%
own ways and you keep the ones that you have

938
00:48:57.849 --> 00:48:59.449 A:middle L:90%
something in common with and that you have the same

939
00:48:59.449 --> 00:49:00.550 A:middle L:90%
beliefs as and the ones that you don't, you

940
00:49:00.559 --> 00:49:06.809 A:middle L:90%
wish them the best and continue on. So a

941
00:49:06.809 --> 00:49:07.789 A:middle L:90%
serious thing you took away from your three seasons of

942
00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:14.559 A:middle L:90%
working with. I got to travel. I got

943
00:49:14.559 --> 00:49:15.679 A:middle L:90%
to see europe, I got to see all these

944
00:49:15.679 --> 00:49:17.900 A:middle L:90%
crazy little towns I never would have been to.

945
00:49:17.900 --> 00:49:22.550 A:middle L:90%
I got to meet so many people and just I

946
00:49:22.550 --> 00:49:24.440 A:middle L:90%
just I wanted to travel my whole life and to

947
00:49:24.440 --> 00:49:27.920 A:middle L:90%
have it the way that it was where I was

948
00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:30.469 A:middle L:90%
just going everywhere and being able to fly there and

949
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:32.460 A:middle L:90%
have people welcome me into their homes and show me

950
00:49:32.460 --> 00:49:37.230 A:middle L:90%
around and get like a firsthand tour of places.

951
00:49:37.230 --> 00:49:39.030 A:middle L:90%
And it really opens your mind. I mean I

952
00:49:39.030 --> 00:49:42.949 A:middle L:90%
highly recommend traveling to anybody who can and it's difficult

953
00:49:42.949 --> 00:49:45.659 A:middle L:90%
and expensive but it just makes you realize that there

954
00:49:45.659 --> 00:49:49.340 A:middle L:90%
is a big world out there and your little problem

955
00:49:49.340 --> 00:49:52.699 A:middle L:90%
at home is so small, so small. So

956
00:49:52.710 --> 00:49:57.280 A:middle L:90%
I'm really grateful for that. Yeah. Yeah.

957
00:50:00.059 --> 00:50:06.320 A:middle L:90%
Hi. Hi. Mhm. I love her the

958
00:50:06.329 --> 00:50:08.679 A:middle L:90%
entire. Mhm. Yeah. Good guys. That's

959
00:50:08.679 --> 00:50:15.079 A:middle L:90%
a good topic. Yeah. What? Thanks Like

960
00:50:17.059 --> 00:50:24.489 A:middle L:90%
. Mhm. Right. What? Yeah. Right

961
00:50:25.659 --> 00:50:30.679 A:middle L:90%
. Some of them it is like don't work.

962
00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:34.039 A:middle L:90%
Yeah. That's sad thing with that too. It's

963
00:50:34.099 --> 00:50:35.570 A:middle L:90%
just one of the most intelligent people that we have

964
00:50:35.570 --> 00:50:39.389 A:middle L:90%
ever had on our show. She's incredible. Right

965
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:51.059 A:middle L:90%
? Like March. Uh huh. Mhm. Yeah

966
00:50:52.159 --> 00:50:59.780 A:middle L:90%
. Want to be feeling okay. Yeah. Are

967
00:51:00.159 --> 00:51:05.969 A:middle L:90%
then why we did back for it? You might

968
00:51:05.969 --> 00:51:07.900 A:middle L:90%
think. I think that. Yeah. I think

969
00:51:07.900 --> 00:51:10.030 A:middle L:90%
it was sad the way they did it because obviously

970
00:51:10.030 --> 00:51:13.610 A:middle L:90%
we all know I mean the stereotypical like when they

971
00:51:13.610 --> 00:51:15.090 A:middle L:90%
try and like just put an african american in and

972
00:51:15.090 --> 00:51:17.300 A:middle L:90%
now we're very cultured and we have everybody. There's

973
00:51:17.300 --> 00:51:19.829 A:middle L:90%
an asian, there's a black person, there's a

974
00:51:19.829 --> 00:51:22.849 A:middle L:90%
mexican where we love everyone. But it didn't show

975
00:51:22.849 --> 00:51:23.960 A:middle L:90%
like that. Obviously you guys didn't receive it that

976
00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:25.190 A:middle L:90%
way. And I don't think that she did as

977
00:51:25.190 --> 00:51:30.269 A:middle L:90%
well sausages. So politically involved, very much more

978
00:51:30.269 --> 00:51:31.730 A:middle L:90%
than anybody on that show involved. And she works

979
00:51:31.730 --> 00:51:35.389 A:middle L:90%
for the gay and lesbian center. She is constantly

980
00:51:35.860 --> 00:51:37.389 A:middle L:90%
preaching love. She is the most accepting human being

981
00:51:37.389 --> 00:51:39.059 A:middle L:90%
I've ever met. And when she came on the

982
00:51:39.059 --> 00:51:40.980 A:middle L:90%
second season, I think it was well we're gonna

983
00:51:40.980 --> 00:51:45.010 A:middle L:90%
need a black person hair sausage. But then they

984
00:51:45.010 --> 00:51:47.380 A:middle L:90%
didn't really follow her story, right? And they

985
00:51:47.380 --> 00:51:50.139 A:middle L:90%
didn't bring her in with the rest of us.

986
00:51:50.139 --> 00:51:52.480 A:middle L:90%
It was very separated and they remember meeting touch for

987
00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:54.010 A:middle L:90%
the first time. It was my birthday party we're

988
00:51:54.010 --> 00:51:57.869 A:middle L:90%
filming wasn't never aired because most of the stuff doesn't

989
00:51:57.880 --> 00:52:00.079 A:middle L:90%
air, but they were like, oh, this

990
00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:00.800 A:middle L:90%
is Sasha, she's your new cast member. You

991
00:52:00.800 --> 00:52:04.239 A:middle L:90%
guys are friends, it's my birthday. I'm looking

992
00:52:04.239 --> 00:52:06.730 A:middle L:90%
at her like, okay, now we're now we're

993
00:52:06.730 --> 00:52:07.570 A:middle L:90%
friends because we're on the show. Thank God I

994
00:52:07.570 --> 00:52:09.659 A:middle L:90%
ended up falling in love with her and knowing that

995
00:52:09.659 --> 00:52:12.969 A:middle L:90%
she's this beautiful person, they should have kept her

996
00:52:12.969 --> 00:52:15.719 A:middle L:90%
on. I think they pushed her to the back

997
00:52:15.719 --> 00:52:17.269 A:middle L:90%
a lot. Um I think that it was more

998
00:52:17.269 --> 00:52:21.070 A:middle L:90%
for their own, we have a black person on

999
00:52:21.070 --> 00:52:23.380 A:middle L:90%
the show than really telling even what her struggle was

1000
00:52:23.849 --> 00:52:27.780 A:middle L:90%
or did she feel accepted or was it easy for

1001
00:52:27.780 --> 00:52:30.329 A:middle L:90%
her even within our show? Did she feel kind

1002
00:52:30.329 --> 00:52:34.510 A:middle L:90%
of you know, put aside and not in one

1003
00:52:34.510 --> 00:52:36.800 A:middle L:90%
? I mean in the photo shoots to like sometimes

1004
00:52:36.800 --> 00:52:38.480 A:middle L:90%
they would push the heavier ones to the back or

1005
00:52:38.480 --> 00:52:40.599 A:middle L:90%
they push you know, heard of the back or

1006
00:52:40.599 --> 00:52:44.610 A:middle L:90%
hide them and it was really hard to see,

1007
00:52:44.619 --> 00:52:46.500 A:middle L:90%
you could tell that it was everyone was being placed

1008
00:52:46.500 --> 00:52:49.039 A:middle L:90%
where they needed to be placed, but nobody was

1009
00:52:49.039 --> 00:52:51.829 A:middle L:90%
really being considered. So I think she should have

1010
00:52:51.829 --> 00:52:52.329 A:middle L:90%
come back. I think there should have been more

1011
00:52:52.329 --> 00:52:54.260 A:middle L:90%
than just one. I think it should have gone

1012
00:52:54.260 --> 00:52:58.530 A:middle L:90%
into her community and everyone's community and like I said

1013
00:52:58.530 --> 00:53:01.179 A:middle L:90%
, I think that they focused on the wrong areas

1014
00:53:01.550 --> 00:53:04.260 A:middle L:90%
and mind you, it's only an hour show so

1015
00:53:04.260 --> 00:53:06.760 A:middle L:90%
they had to chop it up. But such is

1016
00:53:06.760 --> 00:53:09.539 A:middle L:90%
life didn't necessarily fit in with everybody. She had

1017
00:53:09.539 --> 00:53:12.679 A:middle L:90%
more going on than anybody did on the show.

1018
00:53:13.449 --> 00:53:15.889 A:middle L:90%
And they would rather focus on Whitney falling in love

1019
00:53:15.889 --> 00:53:20.320 A:middle L:90%
with girls and massage preaching with her girlfriend down in

1020
00:53:20.320 --> 00:53:22.340 A:middle L:90%
the middle of downtown L. A. So yeah

1021
00:53:22.349 --> 00:53:24.070 A:middle L:90%
, I don't think they portrayed it very well.

1022
00:53:28.349 --> 00:53:32.179 A:middle L:90%
Mm. Yeah. I think that matter by letter

1023
00:53:32.750 --> 00:53:35.710 A:middle L:90%
. I wish they didn't, I wish labels didn't

1024
00:53:35.710 --> 00:53:37.190 A:middle L:90%
matter. I know that people need them and I

1025
00:53:37.190 --> 00:53:37.960 A:middle L:90%
know that it's important like even with a group like

1026
00:53:37.960 --> 00:53:40.760 A:middle L:90%
this to have a safe place for people to go

1027
00:53:42.150 --> 00:53:43.840 A:middle L:90%
and by putting a name on it, it gives

1028
00:53:43.840 --> 00:53:45.940 A:middle L:90%
you a safe place to be. We all want

1029
00:53:45.940 --> 00:53:47.920 A:middle L:90%
to identify with others. I don't think that there's

1030
00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:52.260 A:middle L:90%
enough confidence sometimes and strength within people to just be

1031
00:53:52.260 --> 00:53:55.340 A:middle L:90%
them. So when you're secured and have people around

1032
00:53:55.340 --> 00:53:58.719 A:middle L:90%
you that are like you, it gives you the

1033
00:53:58.719 --> 00:54:01.920 A:middle L:90%
strength. I'm not putting down any of the labels

1034
00:54:01.929 --> 00:54:05.579 A:middle L:90%
, but I think that they heard us sometimes and

1035
00:54:05.579 --> 00:54:07.400 A:middle L:90%
I know that me saying, hey, I'm a

1036
00:54:07.400 --> 00:54:08.420 A:middle L:90%
lesbian like I did because that's what I thought I

1037
00:54:08.420 --> 00:54:10.719 A:middle L:90%
was because I was in love with women and my

1038
00:54:10.719 --> 00:54:14.389 A:middle L:90%
friends were gay and this was my community that when

1039
00:54:14.389 --> 00:54:15.900 A:middle L:90%
I decided, oh my God, I love this

1040
00:54:15.900 --> 00:54:17.119 A:middle L:90%
man. I'm gonna go for that by me saying

1041
00:54:17.119 --> 00:54:22.000 A:middle L:90%
I was a lesbian actually hurt myself. Like if

1042
00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:23.860 A:middle L:90%
you just, you're just you and you love a

1043
00:54:23.860 --> 00:54:27.099 A:middle L:90%
woman or you love a man or you have both

1044
00:54:27.099 --> 00:54:29.190 A:middle L:90%
or you know, you want to be a man

1045
00:54:29.190 --> 00:54:30.860 A:middle L:90%
or you want whatever it is like just be you

1046
00:54:31.239 --> 00:54:34.250 A:middle L:90%
. And I think when we get to a point

1047
00:54:34.250 --> 00:54:35.929 A:middle L:90%
where it's like that and there isn't a label,

1048
00:54:35.929 --> 00:54:37.519 A:middle L:90%
there's not gonna be the clicks and segregation and the

1049
00:54:37.519 --> 00:54:42.489 A:middle L:90%
judgment. They're just people. So I don't like

1050
00:54:42.489 --> 00:54:45.539 A:middle L:90%
it. I'm uncomfortable saying bisexual, but it is

1051
00:54:45.539 --> 00:54:49.130 A:middle L:90%
what the label I kind of can identify with.

1052
00:54:49.139 --> 00:54:53.559 A:middle L:90%
So yeah. Yeah. There's a friend, right

1053
00:54:54.039 --> 00:55:00.860 A:middle L:90%
? We're kind of broken. Oh yeah. Pasta

1054
00:55:00.340 --> 00:55:07.059 A:middle L:90%
always stand still still. No, I lost,

1055
00:55:07.070 --> 00:55:07.849 A:middle L:90%
I lost a lot of friends. First when I

1056
00:55:07.849 --> 00:55:12.460 A:middle L:90%
got sober a lot because you figure out who are

1057
00:55:12.460 --> 00:55:14.780 A:middle L:90%
your friends and your party friends. And I watched

1058
00:55:14.780 --> 00:55:15.050 A:middle L:90%
, I mean they dropped. I was like,

1059
00:55:15.050 --> 00:55:16.579 A:middle L:90%
okay, I got like five of you left,

1060
00:55:16.579 --> 00:55:20.260 A:middle L:90%
let's go. And then when I had them,

1061
00:55:20.260 --> 00:55:22.510 A:middle L:90%
and then I was with a guy nobody wanted to

1062
00:55:22.510 --> 00:55:24.610 A:middle L:90%
be associated with me while the show was being filmed

1063
00:55:24.619 --> 00:55:28.570 A:middle L:90%
, because then what he didn't like me and she's

1064
00:55:28.579 --> 00:55:30.059 A:middle L:90%
the main person. Um a lot of people were

1065
00:55:30.059 --> 00:55:31.889 A:middle L:90%
very vocal on the last season. They didn't like

1066
00:55:31.889 --> 00:55:35.250 A:middle L:90%
that. I was with men and I think people

1067
00:55:35.250 --> 00:55:37.090 A:middle L:90%
didn't want to say anything. So if they were

1068
00:55:37.090 --> 00:55:39.510 A:middle L:90%
friends with me and they were, you know,

1069
00:55:39.519 --> 00:55:43.610 A:middle L:90%
agreeing with what I was doing, then they weren't

1070
00:55:43.610 --> 00:55:46.309 A:middle L:90%
gonna look as cool and they hurt me. And

1071
00:55:46.309 --> 00:55:50.460 A:middle L:90%
these are people I've been friends with for years before

1072
00:55:50.460 --> 00:55:52.280 A:middle L:90%
. There was a show during the show and they

1073
00:55:52.280 --> 00:55:54.769 A:middle L:90%
went the, in a sense, it's so sad

1074
00:55:54.769 --> 00:55:58.420 A:middle L:90%
to say like chose a side. Um, but

1075
00:55:58.420 --> 00:56:00.510 A:middle L:90%
people do that. And then when the show is

1076
00:56:00.510 --> 00:56:02.590 A:middle L:90%
over and you know, lately, I've had a

1077
00:56:02.590 --> 00:56:05.860 A:middle L:90%
lot of those people come back into my life and

1078
00:56:05.869 --> 00:56:07.789 A:middle L:90%
I forgive you should always forgive I love them.

1079
00:56:07.800 --> 00:56:10.230 A:middle L:90%
They they're allowed to be in my life. And

1080
00:56:10.230 --> 00:56:12.590 A:middle L:90%
it's like what do they say? Like you forgive

1081
00:56:12.590 --> 00:56:15.380 A:middle L:90%
? Just don't forget like I forgive you, I

1082
00:56:15.380 --> 00:56:16.510 A:middle L:90%
love you. I'm not gonna forget that when I

1083
00:56:16.510 --> 00:56:20.739 A:middle L:90%
was standing alone and needed my support of my friends

1084
00:56:21.429 --> 00:56:22.690 A:middle L:90%
. A lot of you guys didn't want to be

1085
00:56:22.739 --> 00:56:28.000 A:middle L:90%
associated with me. So some of them were strong

1086
00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:30.219 A:middle L:90%
. Rose Garcia from the show has always had my

1087
00:56:30.219 --> 00:56:35.289 A:middle L:90%
back whether everyone was looking at me, you know

1088
00:56:35.300 --> 00:56:36.960 A:middle L:90%
, because she's my friend. You're friends with somebody

1089
00:56:36.960 --> 00:56:37.940 A:middle L:90%
because you love them, not because of who they

1090
00:56:37.940 --> 00:56:43.539 A:middle L:90%
love, right? Mhm. Uh Me and rosa

1091
00:56:43.539 --> 00:56:45.619 A:middle L:90%
from L. A. We didn't become very close

1092
00:56:45.619 --> 00:56:49.420 A:middle L:90%
until the show, but I ended up having the

1093
00:56:49.420 --> 00:56:52.170 A:middle L:90%
tightest relationship with her out of anybody. Which is

1094
00:56:52.170 --> 00:56:55.329 A:middle L:90%
completely ironic because we are complete opposites. She's a

1095
00:56:55.329 --> 00:57:00.380 A:middle L:90%
wild animal and the most lesbian person I've ever met

1096
00:57:00.380 --> 00:57:02.440 A:middle L:90%
in my life. So, but we managed to

1097
00:57:02.440 --> 00:57:07.480 A:middle L:90%
be the best of friends. Yeah. So looking

1098
00:57:07.480 --> 00:57:09.070 A:middle L:90%
at your commentary on whether or not labels matter and

1099
00:57:09.070 --> 00:57:20.960 A:middle L:90%
then this idea that you've sort mm bill that marginalization

1100
00:57:21.429 --> 00:57:22.329 A:middle L:90%
folks that whether or not they don't fit into the

1101
00:57:22.340 --> 00:57:25.699 A:middle L:90%
l energy and especially our, you know, on

1102
00:57:25.699 --> 00:57:30.750 A:middle L:90%
my no sexual limits are ability to move forward.

1103
00:57:30.630 --> 00:57:35.309 A:middle L:90%
Oh, completely. It's limiting us. I'm I

1104
00:57:35.309 --> 00:57:37.000 A:middle L:90%
just think that right now it doesn't look good when

1105
00:57:37.000 --> 00:57:40.190 A:middle L:90%
you're asking everybody to look at you as a community

1106
00:57:40.190 --> 00:57:44.400 A:middle L:90%
that's here about love. We are, that's were

1107
00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:45.469 A:middle L:90%
preaching love, This is love. This isn't about

1108
00:57:45.469 --> 00:57:47.289 A:middle L:90%
who I'm having sex with. I love this person

1109
00:57:47.300 --> 00:57:50.170 A:middle L:90%
, I can't control it. I love this person

1110
00:57:50.179 --> 00:57:52.469 A:middle L:90%
except that, acknowledge that. And give me the

1111
00:57:52.469 --> 00:57:54.190 A:middle L:90%
right to do that. And people are looking at

1112
00:57:54.190 --> 00:57:55.989 A:middle L:90%
you and they're trying to decide if they accept this

1113
00:57:55.989 --> 00:58:01.300 A:middle L:90%
or not. But then where in the community placing

1114
00:58:01.300 --> 00:58:05.949 A:middle L:90%
people and putting labels and causing hatred in dividing it

1115
00:58:06.420 --> 00:58:07.820 A:middle L:90%
. You can't grow and ask for something with when

1116
00:58:07.820 --> 00:58:10.159 A:middle L:90%
you still don't have it together yourself. And I

1117
00:58:10.159 --> 00:58:13.199 A:middle L:90%
think that there's a lot of judgment, a lot

1118
00:58:13.199 --> 00:58:16.309 A:middle L:90%
of labels, a lot of prejudice within it with

1119
00:58:16.309 --> 00:58:19.289 A:middle L:90%
how gay you are, how straight you are,

1120
00:58:19.300 --> 00:58:22.750 A:middle L:90%
who can go where, who can go there and

1121
00:58:22.420 --> 00:58:27.530 A:middle L:90%
people should be separated by personalities or interest. You

1122
00:58:27.530 --> 00:58:29.199 A:middle L:90%
know, I like science. That's why we're gonna

1123
00:58:29.199 --> 00:58:30.980 A:middle L:90%
go to science plays right? Like art. That's

1124
00:58:30.980 --> 00:58:32.119 A:middle L:90%
why I'm going to the art place, but not

1125
00:58:32.130 --> 00:58:35.690 A:middle L:90%
I'm this gay, you're this gay, you're not

1126
00:58:35.690 --> 00:58:37.750 A:middle L:90%
gay enough, you're too gay, you're too straight

1127
00:58:37.119 --> 00:58:38.090 A:middle L:90%
. I mean, I went I said that I

1128
00:58:38.090 --> 00:58:43.179 A:middle L:90%
went to gay pride last year to support gay rights

1129
00:58:43.179 --> 00:58:45.480 A:middle L:90%
and love inequality. And I was asked why I

1130
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:49.880 A:middle L:90%
was there and that just made me think you're holding

1131
00:58:49.889 --> 00:58:52.969 A:middle L:90%
you're holding everyone back by still having that mm state

1132
00:58:52.969 --> 00:58:55.610 A:middle L:90%
of mind. Like you're holding your you're not representing

1133
00:58:55.610 --> 00:58:58.219 A:middle L:90%
very well. Not that anyone needs to represent,

1134
00:58:58.219 --> 00:59:01.250 A:middle L:90%
but it just takes us back. It shouldn't matter

1135
00:59:02.019 --> 00:59:06.150 A:middle L:90%
. So I don't like I don't like the labels

1136
00:59:06.820 --> 00:59:07.170 A:middle L:90%
and I learned that the hard way because I was

1137
00:59:07.170 --> 00:59:10.150 A:middle L:90%
the first to put labels on myself. So I

1138
00:59:10.150 --> 00:59:17.039 A:middle L:90%
had to learn to remove them personally. So yeah

1139
00:59:17.820 --> 00:59:22.760 A:middle L:90%
, question. Okay, good Lord, what's next

1140
00:59:22.769 --> 00:59:27.380 A:middle L:90%
for roaming kids? I got a guinea pig.

1141
00:59:27.389 --> 00:59:30.289 A:middle L:90%
I don't know if you follow me on social media

1142
00:59:30.289 --> 00:59:32.449 A:middle L:90%
, but I got an amazing guinea pig. Um

1143
00:59:32.920 --> 00:59:37.719 A:middle L:90%
, no kids right now. I'm still growing up

1144
00:59:37.730 --> 00:59:38.480 A:middle L:90%
, my husband still growing up. We just got

1145
00:59:38.480 --> 00:59:42.869 A:middle L:90%
married. we're into our second year and we just

1146
00:59:42.869 --> 00:59:44.880 A:middle L:90%
we have us to work on right now and right

1147
00:59:44.880 --> 00:59:46.119 A:middle L:90%
now it's a it's hard to have kids. Good

1148
00:59:46.119 --> 00:59:50.210 A:middle L:90%
laura, that's a whole new challenge. So I

1149
00:59:50.210 --> 00:59:52.380 A:middle L:90%
think let me just a master trying to have a

1150
00:59:52.380 --> 00:59:54.570 A:middle L:90%
good, healthy relationship right now and work. I

1151
00:59:54.570 --> 00:59:59.139 A:middle L:90%
just keep on struggling and hustling and it's all I

1152
00:59:59.139 --> 01:00:00.559 A:middle L:90%
can do and be grateful. I have a job

1153
01:00:00.559 --> 01:00:09.889 A:middle L:90%
every day. Yeah. Anything else? Yeah.

1154
01:00:09.900 --> 01:00:14.480 A:middle L:90%
Okay. How do you convince people? It's ok

1155
01:00:14.480 --> 01:00:17.829 A:middle L:90%
to love regarding how to convince people? I think

1156
01:00:19.409 --> 01:00:22.900 A:middle L:90%
just by it's so tacky, whatever, but like

1157
01:00:22.900 --> 01:00:25.329 A:middle L:90%
your actions speak louder than your words. So people

1158
01:00:25.329 --> 01:00:28.889 A:middle L:90%
that did have something against me or were very vocal

1159
01:00:28.889 --> 01:00:30.960 A:middle L:90%
have sometimes come back to me and said, just

1160
01:00:30.960 --> 01:00:34.130 A:middle L:90%
seeing your love with your husband and that it didn't

1161
01:00:34.139 --> 01:00:36.760 A:middle L:90%
end the day the show ended and that it continued

1162
01:00:36.760 --> 01:00:37.820 A:middle L:90%
and that you guys are happy. Just showing people

1163
01:00:37.820 --> 01:00:44.300 A:middle L:90%
your happiness is the best way to show that that's

1164
01:00:44.300 --> 01:00:45.659 A:middle L:90%
love, this is what it is, this is

1165
01:00:45.659 --> 01:00:46.820 A:middle L:90%
who I am and like I said, I'm not

1166
01:00:46.820 --> 01:00:52.929 A:middle L:90%
here to prove anything. I'm just here to be

1167
01:00:52.929 --> 01:00:54.630 A:middle L:90%
me and everybody needs to just be them, that's

1168
01:00:54.630 --> 01:00:59.389 A:middle L:90%
all. I'm not trying to like do anything other

1169
01:00:59.389 --> 01:01:04.940 A:middle L:90%
than that, so Mhm. Is that it?

1170
01:01:05.710 --> 01:01:08.090 A:middle L:90%
Yeah. Said you traveled quite a bit? Where

1171
01:01:08.090 --> 01:01:12.309 A:middle L:90%
do you live now? 11. No, I

1172
01:01:12.309 --> 01:01:14.429 A:middle L:90%
live in Long Beach. So I work in L

1173
01:01:14.429 --> 01:01:17.389 A:middle L:90%
. A. No, I hate L. A

1174
01:01:17.400 --> 01:01:20.699 A:middle L:90%
. Um I'd live on your campus if I could

1175
01:01:20.710 --> 01:01:23.190 A:middle L:90%
. Um It's beautiful here, I, my husband's

1176
01:01:23.190 --> 01:01:28.599 A:middle L:90%
from Pittsburgh and so he's East coast and so he

1177
01:01:28.599 --> 01:01:30.349 A:middle L:90%
really loves the beach right now and he doesn't want

1178
01:01:30.349 --> 01:01:32.739 A:middle L:90%
to leave it. Um I beg him every day

1179
01:01:34.210 --> 01:01:36.489 A:middle L:90%
. But I work in L. A. I

1180
01:01:36.489 --> 01:01:37.849 A:middle L:90%
do work in fashion, I do celebrity styling for

1181
01:01:37.849 --> 01:01:40.929 A:middle L:90%
moods of Norway. Um address all different celebrities for

1182
01:01:40.929 --> 01:01:45.280 A:middle L:90%
events and stuff in suits. Um And I drive

1183
01:01:45.280 --> 01:01:49.219 A:middle L:90%
there from Long Beach because I don't want to live

1184
01:01:49.219 --> 01:01:53.500 A:middle L:90%
in west Hollywood ever ever again. So I drive

1185
01:01:53.510 --> 01:01:57.110 A:middle L:90%
to my little beach community which Long Beach is incredibly

1186
01:01:57.110 --> 01:01:59.659 A:middle L:90%
gay community to if you've ever been to Long Beach

1187
01:01:59.659 --> 01:02:01.230 A:middle L:90%
, it's got a huge community, it's a cool

1188
01:02:01.230 --> 01:02:04.280 A:middle L:90%
cool of town. And then I drive to work

1189
01:02:04.280 --> 01:02:05.940 A:middle L:90%
and I drive back, my family lives in Long

1190
01:02:05.940 --> 01:02:09.739 A:middle L:90%
Beach. My mother is my best friend. So

1191
01:02:09.739 --> 01:02:12.949 A:middle L:90%
yeah, I would love to be kind of in

1192
01:02:12.949 --> 01:02:14.530 A:middle L:90%
the middle of nowhere. I could live on a

1193
01:02:14.530 --> 01:02:19.760 A:middle L:90%
farm with a ton of guinea pigs not going over

1194
01:02:19.760 --> 01:02:22.780 A:middle L:90%
real while at home right now. So any other

1195
01:02:22.780 --> 01:02:27.679 A:middle L:90%
questions? Yeah. Yeah. Living in LA and

1196
01:02:27.679 --> 01:02:31.530 A:middle L:90%
working. Mhm. And I know it is a

1197
01:02:31.539 --> 01:02:42.900 A:middle L:90%
very space material. Oh yeah. Mhm. Self

1198
01:02:42.900 --> 01:02:51.409 A:middle L:90%
winding down world, I am blessed to have been

1199
01:02:51.409 --> 01:02:54.530 A:middle L:90%
raised around the industry. My stepmother was a music

1200
01:02:54.530 --> 01:02:59.250 A:middle L:90%
producer, I've been around kind of Hollywood or whatever

1201
01:02:59.250 --> 01:03:00.920 A:middle L:90%
since I was a child. Um and then I've

1202
01:03:00.920 --> 01:03:04.769 A:middle L:90%
worked in fashion and beauty and I've always just,

1203
01:03:04.780 --> 01:03:07.239 A:middle L:90%
because it's where I'm from, so I'm not too

1204
01:03:07.239 --> 01:03:09.900 A:middle L:90%
jaded in that whole thing and then being on the

1205
01:03:09.900 --> 01:03:14.219 A:middle L:90%
show and getting to taste like the tiniest amount of

1206
01:03:15.199 --> 01:03:19.769 A:middle L:90%
celebrity because of that um when it was all over

1207
01:03:19.769 --> 01:03:21.619 A:middle L:90%
and I worked just like everyone else have a normal

1208
01:03:21.619 --> 01:03:22.579 A:middle L:90%
job, I'm not kim Kardashian, I'm not rich

1209
01:03:22.579 --> 01:03:24.300 A:middle L:90%
, there's there's none of that. I'm, you

1210
01:03:24.300 --> 01:03:27.199 A:middle L:90%
know, I think that you realize that so much

1211
01:03:27.199 --> 01:03:30.619 A:middle L:90%
of it just, it's just stars and dust and

1212
01:03:30.619 --> 01:03:31.880 A:middle L:90%
everyone is just going to work and even the celebrities

1213
01:03:31.880 --> 01:03:34.099 A:middle L:90%
that come in, they're going to work on their

1214
01:03:34.099 --> 01:03:36.380 A:middle L:90%
set their jobs. So you start to just look

1215
01:03:36.380 --> 01:03:38.300 A:middle L:90%
at everybody like this is your job. It's an

1216
01:03:38.300 --> 01:03:40.500 A:middle L:90%
awesome job. You're doing what you love. But

1217
01:03:40.510 --> 01:03:44.099 A:middle L:90%
you know better than me, you know different than

1218
01:03:44.099 --> 01:03:46.769 A:middle L:90%
me and by removing myself from it and going home

1219
01:03:46.769 --> 01:03:50.980 A:middle L:90%
to kind of away from it, don't get lost

1220
01:03:50.980 --> 01:03:53.699 A:middle L:90%
in it. I'm not struggling to be famous,

1221
01:03:53.719 --> 01:03:57.590 A:middle L:90%
I'm just trying to work. So I think it's

1222
01:03:57.599 --> 01:03:59.710 A:middle L:90%
easy to move there and get lost in it and

1223
01:03:59.710 --> 01:04:00.579 A:middle L:90%
be real hungry if you're not from L. A

1224
01:04:00.579 --> 01:04:02.010 A:middle L:90%
. And you just get in there and you get

1225
01:04:02.010 --> 01:04:03.280 A:middle L:90%
a taste of it. You can tend to get

1226
01:04:03.280 --> 01:04:06.860 A:middle L:90%
that little like I gotta have more, it's not

1227
01:04:06.860 --> 01:04:13.010 A:middle L:90%
healthy so I just try and separate myself from it

1228
01:04:14.489 --> 01:04:17.820 A:middle L:90%
. Mhm. Yeah, comment that I that I

1229
01:04:17.829 --> 01:04:20.420 A:middle L:90%
get a lot is like oh you don't look,

1230
01:04:21.090 --> 01:04:24.539 A:middle L:90%
Oh God. Yeah. How do you think that

1231
01:04:24.539 --> 01:04:27.500 A:middle L:90%
one click back? Think like fashion and style?

1232
01:04:29.690 --> 01:04:32.119 A:middle L:90%
Yes. I didn't mean anything. I mean when

1233
01:04:32.119 --> 01:04:33.949 A:middle L:90%
we did the show, people were like lesbians don't

1234
01:04:33.949 --> 01:04:35.429 A:middle L:90%
look like that. I was like, well they

1235
01:04:35.429 --> 01:04:36.860 A:middle L:90%
do, they do in L. A. They

1236
01:04:36.860 --> 01:04:39.570 A:middle L:90%
don't look like that everywhere. But in fact they

1237
01:04:39.570 --> 01:04:41.260 A:middle L:90%
do look like that in L. A. Um

1238
01:04:41.269 --> 01:04:44.050 A:middle L:90%
Every area is different. But they're lesbians were upset

1239
01:04:44.059 --> 01:04:45.510 A:middle L:90%
that they were too girly or they, you know

1240
01:04:46.090 --> 01:04:47.630 A:middle L:90%
, what does a lesbian look like? Is there

1241
01:04:47.630 --> 01:04:49.789 A:middle L:90%
supposed to be a look that a lesbian looks like

1242
01:04:49.789 --> 01:04:51.909 A:middle L:90%
? I thought it was about loving somebody. I

1243
01:04:51.909 --> 01:04:55.590 A:middle L:90%
didn't know that we had to all have my haircut

1244
01:04:55.599 --> 01:04:58.719 A:middle L:90%
and wear converse like I do and I'm here,

1245
01:04:58.719 --> 01:05:00.500 A:middle L:90%
I am married to a guy and I still dress

1246
01:05:00.989 --> 01:05:03.409 A:middle L:90%
casually budget times. You know, it doesn't matter

1247
01:05:03.670 --> 01:05:04.980 A:middle L:90%
, it doesn't matter what you dress like. It

1248
01:05:04.980 --> 01:05:10.199 A:middle L:90%
doesn't change who you love. And some some people

1249
01:05:10.199 --> 01:05:11.860 A:middle L:90%
are very masculine, some very, very feminine.

1250
01:05:11.860 --> 01:05:15.250 A:middle L:90%
And you shouldn't be able to tell what someone's preferences

1251
01:05:15.250 --> 01:05:16.760 A:middle L:90%
just by seeing them walk down the street. You

1252
01:05:16.760 --> 01:05:20.039 A:middle L:90%
shouldn't have to know. So you don't look like

1253
01:05:20.039 --> 01:05:30.489 A:middle L:90%
a lesbian. Just kidding any other questions. Is

1254
01:05:30.489 --> 01:05:35.679 A:middle L:90%
that it? Are you just standing? Yeah.

1255
01:05:35.690 --> 01:05:40.400 A:middle L:90%
Okay. All right. I don't know. Yeah

1256
01:05:42.190 --> 01:05:50.309 A:middle L:90%
. Thank you guys. Thank you for having me

1257
01:05:51.489 --> 01:05:56.110 A:middle L:90%
. And now we're going to have the president acute

1258
01:05:56.489 --> 01:06:08.239 A:middle L:90%
. Uh huh. Yeah. Hello. Thank you

1259
01:06:08.420 --> 01:06:13.570 A:middle L:90%
for flying all the way past expert. Thank you

1260
01:06:13.570 --> 01:06:15.340 A:middle L:90%
, Ella. And also thank you to our host

1261
01:06:15.369 --> 01:06:18.940 A:middle L:90%
are watching from flat for clients. Right? Thank

1262
01:06:18.940 --> 01:06:25.269 A:middle L:90%
you because I really don't. Yeah. So on

1263
01:06:25.269 --> 01:06:29.409 A:middle L:90%
behalf of the Women's Center, multicultural programs and service

1264
01:06:30.380 --> 01:06:34.260 A:middle L:90%
the Office for Diversity inclusion Q pocket bt. A

1265
01:06:34.260 --> 01:06:36.260 A:middle L:90%
lot of people put this together and I wanted to

1266
01:06:36.260 --> 01:06:40.360 A:middle L:90%
give a shout out the brain grass. It was

1267
01:06:40.360 --> 01:06:43.159 A:middle L:90%
over there. He answered every one of my annoying

1268
01:06:43.170 --> 01:06:47.369 A:middle L:90%
emails and handled was great walking into his office at

1269
01:06:47.369 --> 01:06:57.050 A:middle L:90%
random times Black Creek. Yeah. I like to

1270
01:06:57.059 --> 01:06:58.210 A:middle L:90%
thank the L. G. P. A.

1271
01:06:58.219 --> 01:07:01.510 A:middle L:90%
For advertising thing. Making sure people who are here

1272
01:07:01.519 --> 01:07:09.090 A:middle L:90%
. I'm glad to see us. Yeah. Yourself

1273
01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:21.639 A:middle L:90%
. Thank you. Mm. Uh huh. What

1274
01:07:21.659 --> 01:07:29.329 A:middle L:90%
I think. Thank you. Thank you. My

1275
01:07:29.329 --> 01:07:35.079 A:middle L:90%
first Emmy. So now so cute. Oh my

1276
01:07:35.079 --> 01:07:38.329 A:middle L:90%
God, it's so cute. It's my first award

1277
01:07:38.340 --> 01:07:53.090 A:middle L:90%
ever. Thank you. Or just come over at

1278
01:07:53.090 --> 01:08:01.210 A:middle L:90%
all 8:00. Thank you. Thank you guys.

1279
01:08:13.079 --> 01:08:13.909 A:middle L:90%
Uh huh.